Anyone in San Diego wants a good deal on a weight bench, I cleaned out the garage and it is priced to go at $100 E-mail me at: lexkase@san.rr.com Dolphins not included.



Really? Really? Really? Really? Really? Really, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

Dong Ding Ding
Rumor has it NBC is bump Conan O’Brien back to 12:00. Apparently NBC stands for Now Bitch-slapping Conan.

How cold is it?
It is so cold in Michigan the Detroit Lions are shaking like they’re trying to complete one pushup.

It is so cold in Washington, the Wizards switched from guns to firebombs just for the heat.

The King
Happy Birthday to Elvis Pressley who would have been 75 last week. If Elvis were alive I think he would say; “Thank god I didn’t die on the toilet.”

Or something like that
A brothel in Nevada will offer men for women. It’s called the Shady Lady. Which is better than their first name: Bed, Bath and Beyond Two Minutes.

Q & A
After the failed underwear bomber, the airport security is really cracking down; from now on all airport security personnel will be required to ask passengers; “Is that a bomb in your underpants or are you just glad to be flying today?”

Who knew?
It turns out the guns that were drawn in the Washington Wizards locker room were loaded; and here I didn’t know the Wiz in Wizards stood for the bullets whizzing by their heads

Get this straight
Last night Jay Leno said NBC stands for Never Believe your Contract. That’s not fair, for the programming executives it actually stands for Nobody Barely Competent.

Ewwwwww
It is so cold in New Jersey, Artie Lange tried to stab himself with an ice pick. (Hey, he would make jokes if somebody else did it)

Cuz bowl
Alabama beat Texas 37-21. So apparently children born from parents who are first cousins can beat children born from parents who are distant cousins.

Scary
In Canada, a golden retriever saved a young boy from a cougar. The dog and the boy are going to be fine, the boy did suffer scratches from the 42-year-old Cougar’s press-on nails and some of her spray tan and perfume rubbed off on his face.

Those guys
The PGA tour opened in Hawaii. Even without Tiger Woods golf is exciting. In the first round the leader was that guy who isn’t Phil Mickelson who was ahead of that other guy who isn’t Vijay Singh.

The PGA tour opened in Hawaii. And on his couch in Florida, Tiger Woods opened another Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and another can of mini-cocktail wieners.

They do
Folks, double standards exist. When a pretty woman says she isn't wearing underwear it is hot, when a guy says he isn't wearing underwear I think Shout Stain Remover.