Lock it, stock it and hock it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


In Sweden, a truck driver was arrested for reckless driving after he crashed his truck while masturbating. In addition, he lost his job delivering Viagra, Jergens lotion and Kleenex.

The driver just claims it just looked like he was masturbating, really his stick shift was stuck.


Arnold Schwarzenegger said he would take swift action on his wife, Maria, who drove while using her hand-held cell phone. For those of you who aren’t married, when a man says swift action against his wife that means saying; “Honey, will you please stop that? No? OK, fine.”


The bad news? Sea World was sold. The worse news? It was sold to the owner of the Long John Silver seafood restaurant chain.


There was a huge gay rights march in Washington DC. where a chant rose; “Obama, Obama, let Mamma marry Mamma.” Which was better than the chant to the Vice President “Oh Biden, oh Biden, let me out this closet I’m hidin’.”


The two cites in the NLCS, Los Angeles and Philadelphia, have made a bet. If Philadelphia wins, they get a crate of oranges, if Los Angeles wins, they don’t have to live in Philadelphia.


Did you see the clip of President Obama dancing at the Hispanic music fiesta? Well so did the Nobel Prize committee and they want their Nobel prize back.


Did you see the clip of President Obama dancing at the White House Hispanic music fiesta? As a dancer, Obama is one hell of a bowler.


Junior Seau has un-retired to join the New England Patriots for the third time; not to say Junior is getting up there, but the first time he played for the Patriots they beat the Red Coats.


Junior Seau has un-retired to join the New England Patriots for the third time; Seau is pretty old, legally he has to change his name from Junior to Senior Seau.