What to the what to the what, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

I'll be candid, my memory is not what it used to be. Plus my memory? It's not what it used to be. So help me out, is this the 2008, 2009, or 2010 NBA Playoffs?

When did the NBA Playoffs become like the Davis Cup in tennis? A sporting event with no discernible ending?

This is a tough final for Shaquille O'Neal. He has to decide to cheer for the guy he used to have a bitter public feud with, Kobe Bryant, or the guy he currently has a bitter public feud with, Dwight Howard. To decide Shaq will shoot a free throw. If he misses he is for Kobe, if he misses by a lot, he is for Howard.

The Republicans are upset because President Obama's New York date night with Michelle cost $24,000. Republicans feel the only person who can spend that much money to eat one dinner is Rush Limbaugh.

President George W. Bush debated President Bill Clinton in Canada. Let's see, Bush and Clinton and Canadians. I am guessing the topic was not how to enlist and go fight a war.

I gotta admit it feels pretty good to be a GM Shareholder. Today I gave myself a huge bonus for taking a nap. Now it's off in my private jet to have dinner in Paris.

It was nice, President Obama flew Michelle to New York for a nice dinner and a Broadway show. Afterward they took Donald Trump's hair for a nice walk down Fifth Avenue.

Even though it has been a while, critics and fans are still questioning how Kris Allen beat Adam Lambert in "American Idol." My thinking? If you want to win "American Idol" don't ever show up on stage wearing a bird cage.

My gal, Anna Faris, said she and her fiance keep things hot by sending each other explicit text messages mid week. They call it "Sex-text-Wednesday." Let's just say it brings them a whole new meaning to hump day.

It was such a beautiful day in New York, Alex Rodriguez tested positive for Orange Crush.

It was such a beautiful day in New York, Madonna decided to take the top down on her boyfriend's stroller.