Do to the me to the running, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Bummer
Sonia Sotomayor has been nominated to the Supreme Court. You know Ruth Bader Ginsberg is bummed. She was hoping to hit some hot new Judge stud meat.
Big shots
Can you believe all the celebrities at the Los Angeles Lakers playoff games? It is a veritable who’s who of people who have slept with Paris Hilton and Madonna.
Yikes
Jose Conseco was knocked out by 7-2, 330 pound Hong Man Choi in 77 seconds. Conseco’s body hasn’t taken a beating like that since a 1989 booty call from Madonna.
Conseco’s brain appears to be fine, as soon as he got up he was able to fire his agent.
Jose Conseco was knocked out by 7-2, 330 pound Hong Man Choi in 77 seconds. Immediately after the match Conseco began work on a tell-all book revealing Choi’s steroid abuse.
Powell and Cheney snit fit
In a response to angry accusations of betrayal from top republicans like Dick Cheney and Carl Rove, Colin Powell announced he is still a republican. And to prove it Powell water-boarded an illegal immigrant.
Dick Cheney angrily accused Colin Powell of not being a republican to which Powell responded by saying he is a republican, to which Cheney said; “Are not.” And Powell said, “Are too.” To which Cheney said “Nuh uh.” To which Powell replied “Uh huh, am too times infinity.”
Unusual
A plumber had to be called to Citi Field during a New York Mets game because a woman got her arm stuck in a toilet fishing after a dropped gold tooth. Which is odd because the Mets don’t usually go in the toilet until mid September.
No assembly required
Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen are expecting a baby. Upon hearing this, Angelina Jolie called them and said; “You do know you can buy them already fully assembled don’t you?”
Lengthy
Pattie Blagojevich, wife of Rod Blagojevich, is set to be in NBC's upcoming reality show, "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get me out of here" because apparently the name "I'm a Foul-Mouthed Greedy Golddigger Bitch . . . Get Me Out of Here " was too long.
Going, going, gone
In a desperate attempt to raise money, CA Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger announced California will have to auction off some of its iconic landmarks. He's not kidding, today bidding began on Arnold's left pectoral muscle.
Bummer
Sonia Sotomayor has been nominated to the Supreme Court. You know Ruth Bader Ginsberg is bummed. She was hoping to hit some hot new Judge stud meat.
Big shots
Can you believe all the celebrities at the Los Angeles Lakers playoff games? It is a veritable who’s who of people who have slept with Paris Hilton and Madonna.
Yikes
Jose Conseco was knocked out by 7-2, 330 pound Hong Man Choi in 77 seconds. Conseco’s body hasn’t taken a beating like that since a 1989 booty call from Madonna.
Conseco’s brain appears to be fine, as soon as he got up he was able to fire his agent.
Jose Conseco was knocked out by 7-2, 330 pound Hong Man Choi in 77 seconds. Immediately after the match Conseco began work on a tell-all book revealing Choi’s steroid abuse.
Powell and Cheney snit fit
In a response to angry accusations of betrayal from top republicans like Dick Cheney and Carl Rove, Colin Powell announced he is still a republican. And to prove it Powell water-boarded an illegal immigrant.
Dick Cheney angrily accused Colin Powell of not being a republican to which Powell responded by saying he is a republican, to which Cheney said; “Are not.” And Powell said, “Are too.” To which Cheney said “Nuh uh.” To which Powell replied “Uh huh, am too times infinity.”
Unusual
A plumber had to be called to Citi Field during a New York Mets game because a woman got her arm stuck in a toilet fishing after a dropped gold tooth. Which is odd because the Mets don’t usually go in the toilet until mid September.
No assembly required
Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen are expecting a baby. Upon hearing this, Angelina Jolie called them and said; “You do know you can buy them already fully assembled don’t you?”
Lengthy
Pattie Blagojevich, wife of Rod Blagojevich, is set to be in NBC's upcoming reality show, "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get me out of here" because apparently the name "I'm a Foul-Mouthed Greedy Golddigger Bitch . . . Get Me Out of Here " was too long.
Going, going, gone
In a desperate attempt to raise money, CA Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger announced California will have to auction off some of its iconic landmarks. He's not kidding, today bidding began on Arnold's left pectoral muscle.
posted by Alex at
1:09 PM
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