Thursday, January 01, 2009

We gettin’ the so fine in the ’09 up in this up in this, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

I, uh, I did not know that
Did you know that Auld Lang Syne is an old Scottish expression? It means: Lipstick on a pig.

Who knew?
Not many people know this, but CBS also offered Jay Leno a 10:00 pm show, but they wanted to call it CSI: Chin.

Actor Matt Dillon was ticketed in Vermont for driving 106 mph. In his defense, Dillon said he was preparing for the prequel to “Crash” titled “About to Crash.”

Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
It was awkward when they asked President Bush what his New Year’s resolution is, he said “Our government needs work, but there’s no reason to overthrow it and start a resolution.”

Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, just had a baby boy and they named him Tripp. Is that a good idea? The baby’s father’s mother was arrested on drug charges and they named the kid Tripp? Were the names Stoned and Wasted already taken?

Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, just had a baby boy and they named him Tripp. Really, Tripp? Still, it is better than Sarah’s suggestion: Joe the Baby.

That explains it
A study reveals teenagers who take the sex abstinence pledge are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not take the pledge. The problem is these kids have been raised to always obey their teachers.

Not nice
The dog movie “Marley and Me” was #1 at the box office, or as “Marley and Me” is titled in China; “A Moveable Feast.”

Place your bets

Prior to the playoff game between the Chargers and the Colts, the mayors placed a cheap but friendly wager. San Diego’s Jerry Sanders offered a six pack of beer and a fish taco combo from Rubio’s valued at under $20. Indianapolis mayor, Greg Ballard offered a shrimp cocktail from St. Elmos’s steak house at $14.95. And for some odd reason, Ill. Gov. Rod Blagojevich threw in an Illinois Senate seat valued at $500,000 and a case of hair products.

Bless her heart
Cloris Leachman gave the coin toss at the Rose Bowl game. There was an awkward moment, when they handed the coin to crazy ol’ Cloris, she tried to spend it on a young male escort.

Since you asked:
Let me tell you a little bit about myself as a person and as a human being. (Shout out to the Doctor)

Because we are an incredibly good looking as well as amazingly fun to be around family, we were invited to a New Year’s Eve party in our hamlet.

They asked me to bring an appetizer so we got two Trader Joe's lamb rib racks pre-marinated and seasoned and French cut. In addition to the seasonings heavy with rosemary and dill and garlic I added pepper and garlic powder and seared both sides for a solid two minutes per side.

They looked amazing, but was I done? Oh, no. Drizzled on olive oil and placed them over indirect heat with the mesquite smoker going strong for another, oh, twenty minutes.

Made a sauce of plain yogurt, fresh dill, garlic powder and diced cucumbers. After another olive oil drizzle and a sprinkling of sea salt, I let the ribs rest. Made funky patterns on a sterling-like serving plate with the yogurt sauce, placed the pink and juicy sliced ribs on the plate and bam’d it with chopped parsley.

Bob is your New Year’s Eve frickin’ Uncle is all.

You simply could not have asked for a greater study of contrasts than USC and Penn State.

USC is Hollywood, Penn State is coal mining country.

USC’s coach, Pete Carroll is a pretty boy who can work out with his team, Penn State’s coach is a gruff old man whose coke-bottle glasses are wearing a magnifying glass and he has to sit up in a booth off the field.

USC is a double non-fat, extra foam, double pump vanilla four shot Latte, Penn State is a cup of Joe in a plaid thermos.

USC’s uniforms look like they were designed by a Roman interior decorator, Penn State’s black and white practice uniforms look like they were issued by a prison warden.

USC is famous for its Heisman Trophy winning running backs, Penn State is famous for its toothless linebackers.

USC surfs, Penn State ice fishes.

USC loves seared ahi tuna with lots of wasabe, Penn State has no idea what the hell that even is.

USC has gorgeous cheerleaders, Penn State’s cheerleaders are, well, better looking than their linebackers.

USC’s favorite holiday movie is “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” Penn State’s is “Marley & Me.”

So it goes without saying we here at a.L.b.B. are for Penn State.

But USC in the Rose Bowl is harder to beat than naked hot tub party at Hef’s place.