Saturday, December 27, 2008

Ho to the Ho to the Ho, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Christmas is officially over; I returned all the gifts my family got me at Bed, Bath and Blagojevich.

Saw an odd movie this holiday, "Valkyrie & Me" about a failed plot to kill Hitler's dog.

To give you an idea how emotional "Marley & Me" is, Dick Cheney saw it and stopped scowling for a minute.  

It was awkward, Cheney got so emotional at the end of "Marley & Me"he tried to shoot the veterinarian.

Even Sarah Palin got in to the holiday spirit, she went with her Jewish friends to a Hanukkah service led by a Rabbi, or as she called him, Joe the Plumberstein.  

A woman in Arkansas gave birth to her 18th child, all of them with a name that starts with J. The Mom named the last child: Jail-For-Your-Dad-If-He-Ever-Touches-Me-Again.  

"Marley & Me" is #1 at the box office, or as it is known in Beijing, "My Dinner with Marley."

The ADT Golf Skills Championship featured a lot of trash talking between the golfers. Well, golfers don't really trash talk, it's more like refuse referencing;

"Gosh golly, you rascal, that shot of yours was reminiscent of my dear grandmother, Nanna."  

Since you asked:

"So, Lex, you didn't tell us: did you cry during "Marley & Me," yah big wuss?" 

Yes, inner tirade, and I am not even ashamed to say I did cry. You couldn't be a human and not cry. In fact, I cried even though I was giving it everything I could not to cry as AC was two seats down next to Mom. 

It reminded me of the time I took a wrong turn snowboarding on the back side of Park City and had to go down a black diamond run that was sheer and solid slick ice. It took hanging on with every muscle I had not to slide off and fall. 

Still shocked at the dismal 52% critic approval. Although that number is deceiving. The critics who liked it raved - as many of the top critics did - and many of the critics who gave a negative review did so only because they warned it was far more emotional than the promos would lead you to believe. 

But the truly negative critical reviews of "Marley & Me" pointed out a huge demographic and personality discrepancy between the terminally annoying coffee shop, art school snotty film critics and me and you, the people who go see movies. These pseudo-intellectual snippy twits don't care that we don't care about their love of the grandiose and the minutia that goes into the making of great FILMS, pronounced with two syllables.  (Phil-lems)  

These self-righteous snots have their smug snouts so far in the air they cannot begin to grasp what real folks enjoy. And they don't care. Their own over-blown opinions take priority over their real job, to either recommend or not recommend a movie the general public would love.