Monday, December 29, 2008

The Detroit Lions went 0-16. Or as the Detroit Tigers call 0-16, April.

Have you seen how pregnant the pregnant-with-twins Jennifer Lopez is? Between her belly and her butt, Lopez looks like the infinity symbol. 

A non-fiction book on Oprah's book club and the New York Times bestseller list on the Holocaust was pulled because it was a lie. Authorities became suspicious when it turned out one of the characters was a girlishly handsome teenage boy vampire. 

A man watching a movie in Philadelphia theater pulled out a gun and shot a man who was talking during the movie. Whoa, which one do you pick here? I mean, you shouldn't shoot people, but the other guy was talking during the movie.  

Wouldn't it have been wild if the guy got shot for talking during "Marley & Me"? "OK, pal, I warned you not to talk during the picking-the-puppy scene." Blam, blam, blam. 

Granted, talking during a movie is rude, but plugging a guy full of lead isn't exactly in the Christmas spirit now is it?