Friday, April 11, 2008

Blog it on over, a big ol’ dog is comin’ through, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Former cyclist Tammy Thomas was convicted of lying to a grand jury about using steroids, part of the evidence was she grew a beard. It was a long beard too, it went all they down to her penis.

Former cyclist Tammy Thomas was convicted of lying to a grand jury about steroids, part of the evidence was she grew a beard. Upon hearing the verdict, Thomas screamed at the jury to look her in the eye. That’s a sure way to prove she didn’t use steroids: grow a beard and fly into a rage.

Vive le amore
In Davis Cup tennis, the US plays France. It shouldn’t be too hard to beat the romantic French, even in tennis they think love is good.

It’s about time
A study reveals that combining drinking with exercise doubles the heart benefits of drinking and exercise alone. Finally some good news for the Detroit Tigers.

Not the same
There is a documentary out narrated by Russell Crowe titled “Bra Boys.” It is about a tough Australian surfing gang. “Bra Boys” is not, repeat, not about what Michael Moore and Al Roker wear under their shirts.

Well dressed
Elton John played at a New York fundraiser for Hillary Clinton; the woman of the hour looked radiant in a sequined pantsuit. And besides Elton, Hillary looked good too.

Don’t tell me
In his latest angry tirade to the press, Bill Clinton said that New Mexico Gov Bill Richardson lied to his face five times. Oh my god, did Richardson have sex with Monica Lewinski too?

An exhibit of personal photographs by Patti Boyd is on exhibit in La Jolla CA. Patti Boyd was married to George Harrison and Eric Clapton and she inspired their respective hits, “Something” and “Layla.” Kind of like Hillary Clinton inspired Elton John to write “The Bitch is Back.”

A surfboard maker in San Diego has gone green and is making surfboards out of a soy base instead of polyurethane. That’s a great idea. Go out in an ocean full of sharks and ride on top of an appetizer. Why not slather on some steak sauce instead of suntan lotion?

Over four years after Chicago Cubs foul-ball flubber, Steve Bartman, apparently knocked away an easy out pop-up from Moises Alou to cause the Cubs to lose the series against the Marlins that would have sent them to the World Series for the first time in 63 years, now Alou says he probably wouldn’t have caught it. So, speaking for all good, kind-hearted and forgiving Chicago Cubs fans, I want to extend to Steve Bartman the most sincere, heart-felt and . . . nope, can’t do it, I still hate the guy.