Friday, January 18, 2008

We stompin’, rompin’ and chompin’ with ol' Foxhole Woody, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It’s come to this
It’s looking more likely the Academy Awards may be cancelled due to the writer’s strike. So I guess we are going to finally see what it’s like when the earth spins off of its axis.

Gone to the dogs
Iditarod officials say global warming will drastically effect this year’s dog races. In fact, it is so much warmer in Alaska, the early favorite is a team of Mexican Chihuahuas.

More dogs
A list came out of the top ten most popular dog breeds. Do you know what is the most popular? Labrador retriever. Do want to know the least popular dog breed? A Cocker Spaniel and a Tiny St. Bernard mix. What? It’s called a St. Spaniel. Just kidding, it’s called a Tiny Cock.

The least popular breed is a combination of a Cocker Spaniel and a Labradoodle. It’s called a Cockadoodle.

I can’t imagine
After OJ Simpson was released from the Las Vegas jail he returned home to Miami and his girlfriend threw him a surprise “Welcome Home” party complete with a cake. OJ, booze, a knife and a defenseless blonde. Gosh, what could go wrong?

Good plan
Hillary Clinton choked up on camera and promptly won the New Hampshire election; For the next election Hillary is planning to have a full blown Terrell Owens quivering snivel-fest.

Aww, that’s nice
In an interview, Omar bin Laden, Osama’s son, says he wants peace between Muslims and the West. But Father and son are very close. Every year at the al Qaeda company picnic they won the Father and Son three-legged Jihad.

Works for him. Well, no, it doesn’t
On HBO’s “Inside the NFL” revealed Donald Trump was in New England Patriots owner Tom Kraft box during their 31-20 win over Jacksonville. Trump was there because Kraft is considering building a roof over the stadium but Trump wants him just to comb-over the existing stadium.

I’ve said it before, I will say it again
In health news, the website TMZ claims insiders say Britney Spears suffering from multiple personality disorder. It may be true, her latest single is titled “Oops I Did It Again And So Did I.”

You want to know what is really sad? All of Britney's personalities are stupid.

Top Ten Things It Would Be Cool To Hear Sean Connery Say:

Suffering succotash

Where is my coin, groin?

Sizzlers Steak House

Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

“The Pike Amusement Park In Long Beach, CA. Wanna show your gal you like her? Take her to Long Beach and Pike her.”

Rub some funk on it, road dog.


I got to get me some of that Budungadunk.

“Arrrrrrr Ewwwww, Werewolves of London”.

Huckabee and Hoobastank

Since you asked:
So what, you ask, are Lex’s playoff picks? Well, before I pick them, let me say that I am going to throw my famously brine marinated baby back ribs in the oven and then head out and stand up paddle board for a couple hours. Come back, fire up the Barbeque, finish those bad boys off on the grill and serve them with ranch-style beans and cornbread.

As for the game, eww, man, I just think the Chargers have had a great run but that run is over. Too many injuries and the P-Riots are too good. Yes, I hope I am as wrong as I was last week because I want to see a good game, but I am afraid I am not. The Chargers will, I hope and predict, cover the now 13 point spread. But not by much.

And the Packers’ Favre love continues to flow. Got no love for the G’ints at this juncture.