Stupid is now the new smart, sabes capice, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?
Pill thrill
The FDA has approved a take-once-a-day Cialis pill. It brings new meaning to taking a one a day plus iron.
Feel the burn and the buzz
A Danish study claims that combining moderate drinking and exercise can significantly increase your life expectancy. Unless your workout includes tequila shots and chainsaw juggling.
Devine relief
Until now, unconvinced voters have left Rich "Goose" Gossage short eight times for the baseball Hall of Fame. However, Gossage has a different view; "I came into situations that God couldn't get out of, and I got out of them." Wow, I know some ex-jocks who thought they were God, this is the first one who thinks he’s better than God.
Asked to comment, God admitted that his relief pitching hasn’t been sharp lately but that is largely due to the fact that he is busy ruining the lives of athletes who claim he helped them win.
Although I am not a religious theologian and I don’t know if God can make an apple so big even he can’t eat it, I am pretty sure God can get out of a pitching jam of his own creation.
How would you like to be the umpire who had to toss God for arguing balls and strikes? Who’d he get to start his car that night?
Warning, this joke is wrong on about six levels
Have you seen the picture of Chelsea Clinton campaigning with her Mom, Hillary, in New Hampshire? Man, she looks all grown up and great. I’m afraid if she gets any hotter Bill might hit on her.
What the heck?
Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham, was named Mr. Blackwell’s worst dressed. Oh, come on, did the guy even look at my pictures? Just last week I left the house wearing lime green Crocs with black socks, brown and yellow striped shorts and a “Frankie Says Relax” t-shirt from 1985.
Since you asked:
Y’all know how much I hate to blow my own cooking horn, but I have officially turned grilling an awesome steak from an art form into a science. If the conditions are all equal, it is now a no-brainer. Sure if the meat is bigger and the fire source is trickier, ala the Weber, it gets a tad more exciting, but otherwise here it is.
Rub mix consists of a big blast of garlic powder and an almost as big blast of – thanks to my buddy Woody – this is the key: smoked paprika, a smaller dash of cumin. The mixed combination should look approximately like a California hillside at sunset. Golden red with a touch of some brown. Rub that on the steaks until both sides of the New York Strip Steak – best combination of fat and texture for the coin – are covered. Then add freshly ground pepper. Let them sit for half an hour. Right before the steaks go on the grill toss on the Sea Salt or Kosher salt.
Get gas grill hot, throw the steaks on the hottest part of the grill, which is the back, and sear for two minutes. (You should hear them sizzle when they hit the grill or your grill ain’t hot enough) After the first two minutes flip them. After another two minutes, minutes (four minutes total at this point) flip while rotating them 90 degrees and moving them up a foot towards the slightly less hot front of the grill. After two to two and a half minutes, flip them. After another two to two and a half minutes, flip again (Total of about just under nine minutes) They should have those perfect diagonal cross grill marks.
Take them off and drizzle with First Cold Press Virgin Olive Oil and hit ‘em with the salt again. Let them rest for two or three minutes - plenty of time to let the red wine you just poured breathe - with a loose tin foil tent and Bob is your frickin’ no good, son-of-a-bitch stinkin’ Uncle.
You can kiss me later.
Use the same rub for awesome hamburgers along with healthy dash of Worcestershire sauce on top. Remember, think of your burger as a mentally challenged steak. Just because it doesn’t have the same test scores doesn’t mean you don’t love them as much, so give them the same attention and opportunity.
Pill thrill
The FDA has approved a take-once-a-day Cialis pill. It brings new meaning to taking a one a day plus iron.
Feel the burn and the buzz
A Danish study claims that combining moderate drinking and exercise can significantly increase your life expectancy. Unless your workout includes tequila shots and chainsaw juggling.
Devine relief
Until now, unconvinced voters have left Rich "Goose" Gossage short eight times for the baseball Hall of Fame. However, Gossage has a different view; "I came into situations that God couldn't get out of, and I got out of them." Wow, I know some ex-jocks who thought they were God, this is the first one who thinks he’s better than God.
Asked to comment, God admitted that his relief pitching hasn’t been sharp lately but that is largely due to the fact that he is busy ruining the lives of athletes who claim he helped them win.
Although I am not a religious theologian and I don’t know if God can make an apple so big even he can’t eat it, I am pretty sure God can get out of a pitching jam of his own creation.
How would you like to be the umpire who had to toss God for arguing balls and strikes? Who’d he get to start his car that night?
Warning, this joke is wrong on about six levels
Have you seen the picture of Chelsea Clinton campaigning with her Mom, Hillary, in New Hampshire? Man, she looks all grown up and great. I’m afraid if she gets any hotter Bill might hit on her.
What the heck?
Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham, was named Mr. Blackwell’s worst dressed. Oh, come on, did the guy even look at my pictures? Just last week I left the house wearing lime green Crocs with black socks, brown and yellow striped shorts and a “Frankie Says Relax” t-shirt from 1985.
Since you asked:
Y’all know how much I hate to blow my own cooking horn, but I have officially turned grilling an awesome steak from an art form into a science. If the conditions are all equal, it is now a no-brainer. Sure if the meat is bigger and the fire source is trickier, ala the Weber, it gets a tad more exciting, but otherwise here it is.
Rub mix consists of a big blast of garlic powder and an almost as big blast of – thanks to my buddy Woody – this is the key: smoked paprika, a smaller dash of cumin. The mixed combination should look approximately like a California hillside at sunset. Golden red with a touch of some brown. Rub that on the steaks until both sides of the New York Strip Steak – best combination of fat and texture for the coin – are covered. Then add freshly ground pepper. Let them sit for half an hour. Right before the steaks go on the grill toss on the Sea Salt or Kosher salt.
Get gas grill hot, throw the steaks on the hottest part of the grill, which is the back, and sear for two minutes. (You should hear them sizzle when they hit the grill or your grill ain’t hot enough) After the first two minutes flip them. After another two minutes, minutes (four minutes total at this point) flip while rotating them 90 degrees and moving them up a foot towards the slightly less hot front of the grill. After two to two and a half minutes, flip them. After another two to two and a half minutes, flip again (Total of about just under nine minutes) They should have those perfect diagonal cross grill marks.
Take them off and drizzle with First Cold Press Virgin Olive Oil and hit ‘em with the salt again. Let them rest for two or three minutes - plenty of time to let the red wine you just poured breathe - with a loose tin foil tent and Bob is your frickin’ no good, son-of-a-bitch stinkin’ Uncle.
You can kiss me later.
Use the same rub for awesome hamburgers along with healthy dash of Worcestershire sauce on top. Remember, think of your burger as a mentally challenged steak. Just because it doesn’t have the same test scores doesn’t mean you don’t love them as much, so give them the same attention and opportunity.
posted by Alex at
9:43 AM
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