Rolling wit da road doggies, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Simon Scowl
“American Idol” debuted last night. Simon Cowell was grumpier than ever. He was so grumpy he made New England Patriot coach Bill Belichick seem like Richard Simmons.
At one point, Cowell shouted to a contestant; “You punk get off my lawn.”
Serious, at one point it looked like one of the “AI” production assistants would have to change Simon’s poopy diaper.
“American Idol” debuted last night and I think I understand what the problem is. Apparently many of the contestants mistook this audition with “Last Comic Standing” because they were hysterical.
Go Bolts, but P-Riots will win
The New England Patriots are big favorites over the San Diego Chargers for the AFC Championship. In fact, the only chance the Chargers have is if before the game, Tom Brady goes on vacation with Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse.
Cowboy fans are blaming Dallas’ 21-17 loss to the New York Giants on Tony Romo’s Mexican vacation with Jessica Simpson. Apparently Jessica mentally damaged Romo when they got undressed and Jessica disappointedly pointed and cried; “But I thought you were a nine?”
Crazy Tom
In a tape speaking of his belief in Scientology, Tom Cruise said people are either on board or they’re not. That’s funny because I feel that the movie stars I will go watch are either on board, or they’re anyone but Tom Cruise.
In my opinion
With Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama leading the democratic race, the question has been asked which is worse, racism or sexism? Racism is worse. You can’t have a night of really wild race.
Coming soon
Oprah is opening her own network. This is soon to be followed by Oprah opening her own country, closely followed by planet Oprah and Galaxy Oprah.
Since you asked:
You know how Ferris Bueller was Hollywood’s version of what a really cool suburban Chicago high school student is like, but he was just a little too, well, gay? Vince Vaughn really is how a cool suburban Chicago area high school kid was because he was one.
Why is it some Hollywood stars seem to be doing it so cool and right and others just can’t do anything without f-ing it up, like Britney, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise?
Vince Vaughn is in the Matthew McConaughey school of enjoying his celebrity without screwing up, without the McConaughey rumors of naked-bongos-with-a-dude and incredibly bad body odor.
Even if he is a serial Sch-talker and nuttier than a sewage-plant rat, Matt, or McConk, as I would nickname him, would be a fun hang to go stand up paddle boarding and have a Maggie and some Mexican afterwards. And can you imagine hanging with Vince in Vegas? That would be so, so, well, money.
Speaking of “American Idol” man, do I have an early favorite. That ridiculously young but hot little Oregon philly Katie Lynn something. Wow. Not that I would call myself a country fan, but she was something. She just oozed sexy star power.
Mark my words, unless it turns out she used to turn tricks for the Taliban, sponsored one of Michael Vick’s pit bulls or some other equally heinous scandal, I don’t see anyone beating her. I don’t see any of the past winners beating her neitherwise when it comes to it.
P.S. The Road Doggies is my new rock, blues, honky tonk bar band. We will be appearing at the San Marcos Pass Bar and Grill nestled up in the Santa Barbara mountains. We do a mean version of "Seven Bridges Road" "Angel From Montgomery" "Perfectly Good Guitar" and the Cocker version of "Unchain My Heart" and, needless to say, "Honky Tonk Woman" with Oregon Philly Katie Lynn singing along.
Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Simon Scowl
“American Idol” debuted last night. Simon Cowell was grumpier than ever. He was so grumpy he made New England Patriot coach Bill Belichick seem like Richard Simmons.
At one point, Cowell shouted to a contestant; “You punk get off my lawn.”
Serious, at one point it looked like one of the “AI” production assistants would have to change Simon’s poopy diaper.
“American Idol” debuted last night and I think I understand what the problem is. Apparently many of the contestants mistook this audition with “Last Comic Standing” because they were hysterical.
Go Bolts, but P-Riots will win
The New England Patriots are big favorites over the San Diego Chargers for the AFC Championship. In fact, the only chance the Chargers have is if before the game, Tom Brady goes on vacation with Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse.
Cowboy fans are blaming Dallas’ 21-17 loss to the New York Giants on Tony Romo’s Mexican vacation with Jessica Simpson. Apparently Jessica mentally damaged Romo when they got undressed and Jessica disappointedly pointed and cried; “But I thought you were a nine?”
Crazy Tom
In a tape speaking of his belief in Scientology, Tom Cruise said people are either on board or they’re not. That’s funny because I feel that the movie stars I will go watch are either on board, or they’re anyone but Tom Cruise.
In my opinion
With Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama leading the democratic race, the question has been asked which is worse, racism or sexism? Racism is worse. You can’t have a night of really wild race.
Coming soon
Oprah is opening her own network. This is soon to be followed by Oprah opening her own country, closely followed by planet Oprah and Galaxy Oprah.
Since you asked:
You know how Ferris Bueller was Hollywood’s version of what a really cool suburban Chicago high school student is like, but he was just a little too, well, gay? Vince Vaughn really is how a cool suburban Chicago area high school kid was because he was one.
Why is it some Hollywood stars seem to be doing it so cool and right and others just can’t do anything without f-ing it up, like Britney, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise?
Vince Vaughn is in the Matthew McConaughey school of enjoying his celebrity without screwing up, without the McConaughey rumors of naked-bongos-with-a-dude and incredibly bad body odor.
Even if he is a serial Sch-talker and nuttier than a sewage-plant rat, Matt, or McConk, as I would nickname him, would be a fun hang to go stand up paddle boarding and have a Maggie and some Mexican afterwards. And can you imagine hanging with Vince in Vegas? That would be so, so, well, money.
Speaking of “American Idol” man, do I have an early favorite. That ridiculously young but hot little Oregon philly Katie Lynn something. Wow. Not that I would call myself a country fan, but she was something. She just oozed sexy star power.
Mark my words, unless it turns out she used to turn tricks for the Taliban, sponsored one of Michael Vick’s pit bulls or some other equally heinous scandal, I don’t see anyone beating her. I don’t see any of the past winners beating her neitherwise when it comes to it.
P.S. The Road Doggies is my new rock, blues, honky tonk bar band. We will be appearing at the San Marcos Pass Bar and Grill nestled up in the Santa Barbara mountains. We do a mean version of "Seven Bridges Road" "Angel From Montgomery" "Perfectly Good Guitar" and the Cocker version of "Unchain My Heart" and, needless to say, "Honky Tonk Woman" with Oregon Philly Katie Lynn singing along.
Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
posted by Alex at
10:44 AM
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