This just in:
After just two weeks, Eddie Murphy’s marriage broke up; apparently his new wife didn’t like it when Eddie asked her to dress like a guy dressed as a girl and stand on Santa Monica Blvd while he drove by and picked her up.


Mount Saint Helen rumbled again. It was scary, it emitted noxious gases, it thundered out a loud noise, it frightened everybody half to death . . . no, wait, I’m sorry, that was Rosie O’Donnell commenting about Britney Spears.


The stock market went into the tank this week. A lot of experts are blaming its poor showing on the fact the market spent a weekend in Mexico with Jessica Simpson.