We might just chuck a sickie today, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Quite a year for Favre
Brett Favre has been named “Sports Illustrated” sportsman-of-the-year; it is quite an honor for Favre, even better than when he was named A.A.R.P’s sportsman-of-the-year.
Party Poper
The Pope, is purging all modern music from the Vatican. The Pope is especially adamant that the priests give up their two favorite bands Boyz II Men and the Backstreet Boys.
Who knew?
In an incredibly moving and classy tribute to their fallen teammate, Sean Taylor, the Washington Redskins lined up on defense against the Buffalo Bills with only ten players instead of the normal 11. It was a little embarrassing when Miami Dolphin coach Cam Cameron then asked; “Since when can you play 11?”
Yesterday, all her panties seemed so far away
In the middle of her nasty divorce with Sir Paul McCartney, more explicit photos of Heather Mills have emerged. Let’s just say that, when it comes to betting on American football, Heather took the Eagles and the spread.
After bitterly condemning the press for falsely labeling her a porno queen, more explicit photos of “Dancing with the Stars” Heather Mills have, shall we say, opened up? How open? If Heather’s legs were spread any wider we could’ve read her mind.
Who could have guessed that Heather would make Yoko the nice Beatle wife?
The right to write
The talks in the writers strike resumed today so late night talk shows could also resume soon. Attention Presidential candidates, you may only have a couple of days to get away with doing something really stupid.
What are the odds?
Eight guys have come forward to say they have had sex with Idaho Senator Larry Craig in various public men’s bathrooms. Wow, what are the chances that Craig would have sex with the only other eight non-gay-men-who-have-sex-with-men in the entire world?
Now those are big waves
Southern California is experiencing sets of huge waves. In Malibu the waves were so big they knocked a pair of panties on *Britney Spears.
Since you asked:
I’m getting a nasty cold. My head feels like a casaba melon pumped up with helium. And my hair hurts.
But the cool thing about a low grade fever? Great dreams. Wow, I dreamed that I was in a fire fight with al Qaeda and, in all modesty, we kicked their ass. The big question was what was al Qaeda doing attacking the bars and restaurants along State Street in Santa Barbara? And why was I fighting along side Don Henley and my sixth grade gym teacher, Mr. Anderson? Doesn’t matter, we fought them back.
As a neophyte stand up paddleboard surfer, I have to admit it is a little humbling having waves so big I can’t even think about going out in them. But then I have no problem bypassing double black diamond runs when snowboarding, so why should this be any different? Besides, going into 62 degree water still filthy from the storm with a slight fever may not be the smartest thing to do.
Greatest line of the week: Young, hot, vapid Ceerie (Katrina Bowdin) of “30 Rock” tells 37-year-old Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) that she saw her at the hot art gallery night club.
“What were you doing at Le Chic, Liz? This isn’t like the time we found Grandpa at the bus station, is it?”
Or Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan)
"Jack, these kids are from Knuckle Beach where orange soda is considered an acceptable substitute for breast milk."
*Re: Britney Spears. In the history of celebrity pop culture, has anyone ever gone from so hot to so not faster? Kirsty Alley and Sally Struthers took years and years to do it. Britney's junk went bad in record time. Another nude picture of Britney laying out by a pool emerged on the Internet and all you can say is "Ewww."
I am not lying, Britney looked like Elmer Fudd with a scrunchy.
Quite a year for Favre
Brett Favre has been named “Sports Illustrated” sportsman-of-the-year; it is quite an honor for Favre, even better than when he was named A.A.R.P’s sportsman-of-the-year.
Party Poper
The Pope, is purging all modern music from the Vatican. The Pope is especially adamant that the priests give up their two favorite bands Boyz II Men and the Backstreet Boys.
Who knew?
In an incredibly moving and classy tribute to their fallen teammate, Sean Taylor, the Washington Redskins lined up on defense against the Buffalo Bills with only ten players instead of the normal 11. It was a little embarrassing when Miami Dolphin coach Cam Cameron then asked; “Since when can you play 11?”
Yesterday, all her panties seemed so far away
In the middle of her nasty divorce with Sir Paul McCartney, more explicit photos of Heather Mills have emerged. Let’s just say that, when it comes to betting on American football, Heather took the Eagles and the spread.
After bitterly condemning the press for falsely labeling her a porno queen, more explicit photos of “Dancing with the Stars” Heather Mills have, shall we say, opened up? How open? If Heather’s legs were spread any wider we could’ve read her mind.
Who could have guessed that Heather would make Yoko the nice Beatle wife?
The right to write
The talks in the writers strike resumed today so late night talk shows could also resume soon. Attention Presidential candidates, you may only have a couple of days to get away with doing something really stupid.
What are the odds?
Eight guys have come forward to say they have had sex with Idaho Senator Larry Craig in various public men’s bathrooms. Wow, what are the chances that Craig would have sex with the only other eight non-gay-men-who-have-sex-with-men in the entire world?
Now those are big waves
Southern California is experiencing sets of huge waves. In Malibu the waves were so big they knocked a pair of panties on *Britney Spears.
Since you asked:
I’m getting a nasty cold. My head feels like a casaba melon pumped up with helium. And my hair hurts.
But the cool thing about a low grade fever? Great dreams. Wow, I dreamed that I was in a fire fight with al Qaeda and, in all modesty, we kicked their ass. The big question was what was al Qaeda doing attacking the bars and restaurants along State Street in Santa Barbara? And why was I fighting along side Don Henley and my sixth grade gym teacher, Mr. Anderson? Doesn’t matter, we fought them back.
As a neophyte stand up paddleboard surfer, I have to admit it is a little humbling having waves so big I can’t even think about going out in them. But then I have no problem bypassing double black diamond runs when snowboarding, so why should this be any different? Besides, going into 62 degree water still filthy from the storm with a slight fever may not be the smartest thing to do.
Greatest line of the week: Young, hot, vapid Ceerie (Katrina Bowdin) of “30 Rock” tells 37-year-old Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) that she saw her at the hot art gallery night club.
“What were you doing at Le Chic, Liz? This isn’t like the time we found Grandpa at the bus station, is it?”
Or Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan)
"Jack, these kids are from Knuckle Beach where orange soda is considered an acceptable substitute for breast milk."
*Re: Britney Spears. In the history of celebrity pop culture, has anyone ever gone from so hot to so not faster? Kirsty Alley and Sally Struthers took years and years to do it. Britney's junk went bad in record time. Another nude picture of Britney laying out by a pool emerged on the Internet and all you can say is "Ewww."
I am not lying, Britney looked like Elmer Fudd with a scrunchy.
posted by Alex at
11:52 AM
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