We gonna take down the break down up in this here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Atlanta QB Michael Vick has been indicted on two felony counts of dog fighting including accusations of Vick killing eight dogs. On the bright side, Vick just landed a Chinese food endorsement.
Atlanta QB Michael Vick has been indicted on two felony counts of dog fighting including accusations of Vick killing dogs. Michael Vick’s publicist is hosed. Vick’s publicist is going to have to dump Vick and find a client with a better image: like, Osama bin Laden, for example.
People are shocked that Nike hasn't dumped Vick. They shouldn't be. It wasn't that long ago that shoemakers made shoes out of dog skin.
The NFL has announced that Michael Vick can still play despite the dog fighting and killing indictments. Apparently the NFL stands for No Fido League.
Congressman David Vitter admitted he hired prostitutes but he denied the prostitute’s claim that he asked her to put him in a diaper. You know a congressman is having a bad week when simply being caught with a hooker is the second most embarrassing thing to happen to him.
Congressman David Vitter admitted he hired prostitutes but he denied the prostitute’s claim that he asked her to put him in a diaper. That’s a tough one, who do you believe? The hooker or the politician?
A British explorer became the first man to swim the waters at the North Pole. He also became the first man to emerge from the water without his North Pole.
The 51-year-old wife of former Cincinnati Bengal lineman Tim Dinkel, Jeni Lee Dinkel, admitted to having sex with a 15-year old boy at a wild party. Apparently the sex occurred during a rousing game of Pin-the-tail-of-the-Dinkel.
Since you asked, Vick version:
In a country which happily spends over 40 billion a year on its pets, Atlanta Falcon moron Michael Vick could not be more deservedly screwed. This guy is going to fry like nobody who didn't kill somebody has ever fried before.
From goldfish owners to horse breeders, it is impossible to measure the depth of feelings and love Americans have for their pets and vice versa. Sadly, in many cases, the love for their pets surpasses their feelings for their family.
It is also impossible to measure the damage Michael Vick has caused himself in the American public’s eye. Vick could have been caught wearing a diaper so he could drive all night and smoke crack to have sex with a mentally challenged transvestite and he could have recovered.
A while ago there were two items in the news, one was a particularly horrific murder and the other was a road rage case where a guy threw a woman’s puppy into traffic. The letters were one hundred thousand to one for the woman and her dog over the dead human.
Pit bulls should be illegal, but pit bulls are dogs and all dogs, bred to kill or not, are capable of amazing emotional intelligence and love. To do what Vick did to these dogs is beyond cruel. It is so great to me that Clinton Portis came out in support of Vick. That clears up any questions I had as a Fantasy Football owner about Clinton Portis. Anyone that stupid is going to repeat that stupidity and ruin his image and career.
Many could not comprehend the capacity for pure evil al Qaeda had until they saw the al Qaeda video clip of the puppy Labrador slowly being poisoned to death. These people are far beneath the animals that they torture. Far beneath. And they deserve what they get. And what they are going to get is not good.
On a lighter note:
You simply will not believe where my precious daughter has been the past two weeks. Training for the Taliban? More likely. Painting “Go Mets” posters? I could stand that. Learning to play the accordion? It’s even more annoying than that.
Ann Caroline Kaseberg has spent the past two weeks at a French summer camp. (Pause while my readers double check to see if they have the right blog)
No lie. And she loves it. And the French teachers have been wonderful to her. (Pause while my readers call 911 to send me an ambulance)
But the other day I was driving AC and her great and adorable friend, Hannah, to their French camp when I asked them if they have any real French kids in their class.
“Yes!” came the loud and exasperated sounding answer in unison.
“Are they nice?” I asked.
“No.” Came the even louder and in more precisely in unison answer.
Sniff. I’m so proud.
Speaking of which, check out your boy Home Cookin’ at "Newsday."
Google Newsday, click on Opinions and then punchlines.
Atlanta QB Michael Vick has been indicted on two felony counts of dog fighting including accusations of Vick killing eight dogs. On the bright side, Vick just landed a Chinese food endorsement.
Atlanta QB Michael Vick has been indicted on two felony counts of dog fighting including accusations of Vick killing dogs. Michael Vick’s publicist is hosed. Vick’s publicist is going to have to dump Vick and find a client with a better image: like, Osama bin Laden, for example.
People are shocked that Nike hasn't dumped Vick. They shouldn't be. It wasn't that long ago that shoemakers made shoes out of dog skin.
The NFL has announced that Michael Vick can still play despite the dog fighting and killing indictments. Apparently the NFL stands for No Fido League.
Congressman David Vitter admitted he hired prostitutes but he denied the prostitute’s claim that he asked her to put him in a diaper. You know a congressman is having a bad week when simply being caught with a hooker is the second most embarrassing thing to happen to him.
Congressman David Vitter admitted he hired prostitutes but he denied the prostitute’s claim that he asked her to put him in a diaper. That’s a tough one, who do you believe? The hooker or the politician?
A British explorer became the first man to swim the waters at the North Pole. He also became the first man to emerge from the water without his North Pole.
The 51-year-old wife of former Cincinnati Bengal lineman Tim Dinkel, Jeni Lee Dinkel, admitted to having sex with a 15-year old boy at a wild party. Apparently the sex occurred during a rousing game of Pin-the-tail-of-the-Dinkel.
Since you asked, Vick version:
In a country which happily spends over 40 billion a year on its pets, Atlanta Falcon moron Michael Vick could not be more deservedly screwed. This guy is going to fry like nobody who didn't kill somebody has ever fried before.
From goldfish owners to horse breeders, it is impossible to measure the depth of feelings and love Americans have for their pets and vice versa. Sadly, in many cases, the love for their pets surpasses their feelings for their family.
It is also impossible to measure the damage Michael Vick has caused himself in the American public’s eye. Vick could have been caught wearing a diaper so he could drive all night and smoke crack to have sex with a mentally challenged transvestite and he could have recovered.
A while ago there were two items in the news, one was a particularly horrific murder and the other was a road rage case where a guy threw a woman’s puppy into traffic. The letters were one hundred thousand to one for the woman and her dog over the dead human.
Pit bulls should be illegal, but pit bulls are dogs and all dogs, bred to kill or not, are capable of amazing emotional intelligence and love. To do what Vick did to these dogs is beyond cruel. It is so great to me that Clinton Portis came out in support of Vick. That clears up any questions I had as a Fantasy Football owner about Clinton Portis. Anyone that stupid is going to repeat that stupidity and ruin his image and career.
Many could not comprehend the capacity for pure evil al Qaeda had until they saw the al Qaeda video clip of the puppy Labrador slowly being poisoned to death. These people are far beneath the animals that they torture. Far beneath. And they deserve what they get. And what they are going to get is not good.
On a lighter note:
You simply will not believe where my precious daughter has been the past two weeks. Training for the Taliban? More likely. Painting “Go Mets” posters? I could stand that. Learning to play the accordion? It’s even more annoying than that.
Ann Caroline Kaseberg has spent the past two weeks at a French summer camp. (Pause while my readers double check to see if they have the right blog)
No lie. And she loves it. And the French teachers have been wonderful to her. (Pause while my readers call 911 to send me an ambulance)
But the other day I was driving AC and her great and adorable friend, Hannah, to their French camp when I asked them if they have any real French kids in their class.
“Yes!” came the loud and exasperated sounding answer in unison.
“Are they nice?” I asked.
“No.” Came the even louder and in more precisely in unison answer.
Sniff. I’m so proud.
Speaking of which, check out your boy Home Cookin’ at "Newsday."
Google Newsday, click on Opinions and then punchlines.
posted by Alex at
1:24 PM
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