Monday, July 23, 2007

We gonna lay it down ‘til it play the sound, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Not good
John McCain’s campaign is in trouble. Today McCain couldn’t get the endorsement of Michael Vick.

Vick is a . . .
Atlanta QB Michael Vick has been indicted on two felony counts of dog fighting including. accusations of Vick killing dogs. Nike cancelled the scheduled to launch of the new Vick shoe. I’m not sure what the shoe was called but it wasn’t the new Nike Air Dales.

Tres French
A French rider in the Tour De France struck a yellow Labrador and destroyed his front tire. The dog is fine and the French rider then promptly surrendered to the dog.

Comedian Dave Chapelle was admitted to a hospital for exhaustion. You never see marathon runners or Ironman triathletes hospitalized for exhaustion, its just celebrities. Those power lunches with agents must be grueling.

Get it?
A big part of the $660 million dollar settlement the Los Angeles Archdiocese paid to victims of priest sexual abuse were paid by an insurance policy. You know how Aflac insurance has a duck? The sex abuse insurance company has a goose.

That was quick
Al Gore is under attack for serving an endangered species, sea bass, at his daughter’s wedding; this just in, after Al Gore’s last meal, Corn Dogs have been declared an endangered species.

In the Emmy nominated HBO show “Entourage” they’re making the movie “Medellin.” To which an NBC exec asked HBO; “What the heck is that?” “Medellin is a drug cartel” HBO replied. “No”, said the NBC exec; “What’s an Emmy?”

Since you asked:
As soo many lok up too me as a purfreshnal righter, it is inqumbaanant up on me to try and right as gooder as possabul.

But when I wrote a Michael Vick joke about dog fighting in LA is really just two Chihuahuas viciously gossiping, it took me ten times to finally spell Chihuahua just horribly enough so that spell check could finally offer the right one.

And people really do pay me money for my writing.

Man, that is sweet.