Thursday, July 26, 2007

Lay down the hunka hunka junka in the trunka, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

How hot is it?
Man it has been hot. I’m sweating like Michael Vick at the Westminster Dog show.

Not good
Lindsay Lohan was reportedly extremely difficult and argumentative when she was arrested. Lindsay was so difficult, in addition to a DUI, she was charged with behaving like Rosie O’Donnell.

Feel good story
A tiny pet Chihuahua in Colorado got between a toddler and a rattlesnake and managed to fight off the rattler to save the little boy's life. The boy and the Chihuahua are fine. This is a truly touching story to everyone but Michael Vick. He had his money on the rattlesnake.

Yikes
There was a record turnout for David Beckham’s soccer debut in Los Angeles. Did you see how skinny Beckham’s wife., Victoria, is? Man, forget Posh Spice, now she is “Would It Kill You To Eat a Sandwich?” Spice.

Ewwwwww
Yesterday in 776 AD was the first Olympic Games in Greece. Did you know they competed naked? It was great for everybody but the men’s high hurdles, that took an ugly turn.

Again, not good
The NFL’s Michael Vick is indicted for dog fighting, the NBA’s, Tim Donaghy is accused of fixing games he refereed and the leading team in the Tour De France was caught blood doping and Barry Bonds is under federal investigation for perjury. You know things are bad when the classiest act in pro sports is boxing’s Don King.

Imagine that?
Comic/Con is in San Diego. It is a huge convention for comic book lovers. It’s wild, the hookers get paid to play Dungeon and Dragons.

Again, again, not good
I’m not sure how serious the democratic debate with questions from YouTube was. Like that question for John Edwards: “When shampooing, is it rinse, lather and repeat or rinse, lather, rinse repeat?”

Ouch
A White House spokesperson said that, after undergoing his colonoscopy and polyp removal, President Bush rode his mountain bike. Ouch. That’s like getting a nose job and then boxing three rounds.

Maybe this guy really is dumb. Who thinks, “I just had a huge colonoscopy and five polyps removed. What should I do now? I know, I’ll go ride a bike.”