Get the funk in your junk and put it in the trunk, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Noooooooooooooo
The movie “Waitress” is doing well. It’s a dramatic comedy about a woman who loves to bake pies; it’s touching, it’s clever, it’s romantic, it’s tender, it's every guy’s worst nightmare.
Why?
Barry Bonds continues to get closer to Hank Aaron’s all time home run record but nobody cares. Why? Because we know Bonds cheated with steroids. Cheering for Bonds would be like going to a Britney Spears concert because she lip-synchs well.
An oldie but a moldie
In Amsterdam, a 400-pound gorilla escaped its enclosure, ran amok, bit a woman- who is going to be OK - and then ran into a crowded restaurant. You know where the gorilla sat in the restaurant? Anywhere he wanted to.
Sounds nice
Paris Hilton is facing 23 days in jail, but it isn’t the L.A. county jail, it is a special jail for celebrities. To show how luxurious the jail Paris is going to is, solitary confinement is also an aroma therapy session.
To give you an idea how fancy Paris’s jail is: the prisoners only stick each other with sterling silver shivs.
It adds up
Keith Richards is shopping his biography around for $5 million; that sounds like a lot but that works out to a thousand dollars a year.
Keith Richards is shopping his biography around for $5 million; however, Keith’s biography on tape is only going for $100. That’s because, on tape, you can’t understand a word Keith says.
Getting weird
Former Tour De France winner Greg LeMond testified at the doping hearing of Floyd Landis that Landis’s manager threatened to expose that LeMond was molested by his uncle. And if that wasn’t weird enough, in burst Phil Spector in a dress yelling that he was innocent.
It also adds up
In addition to facing jail time, Paris Hilton is being sued for $10 million dollars; insiders say that, due to her lavish lifestyle, Paris doesn’t have close to $10 million. If she loses the lawsuit, to raise $10 mil, so Paris will have to charge each lover $10 bucks a throw.
Since you asked:
As I monitor the big three talk shows pretty closely, Leno, Letterman and O’Brien, I think it is fascinating how you can detect the host’s personality in the making of the show. Leno and Letterman are the only two I’ve met and or seen in person and Leno is the only one who I have spent time talking to.
Anyone and everyone who knows Leno cannot stress enough how he really is a great guy, and he honestly is. But don’t kid yourself, the guy works his ass off and he is a real pro. If there is anything that surprised me about meeting Leno is that he strikes me as a real student/professor of comedy and not just the very able host of a show. And that is the sense when you see his show. The people are really friendly but they aren’t kidding around either. They want to put out a slick, professional product and they do. That is one well oiled machine, just like Leno’s cars.
The vibe I get from Letterman’s show live is that the high school audio/video geeks have suddenly been giving a huge budget and a show. (“Hey, let’s go up to the roof and hurl cool stuff off”) Now it’s their chance to make fun of the cool kids. There is also a sense of a lot of pressure because there is the clear sense Letterman is tough on everyone but he is toughest on himself. And the studio really is freezing. But Dave also seems very Midwestern and beloved by those around him.
My wife’s reaction to Letterman is pretty classic: she laughs shakes her said and mutters “Dave” in a “oh, that scamp” like you would to a feisty but hilarious Uncle.
Conan O’Brien’s show is probably a lot like Harvard Lampoon was like when he was the managing editor. Sure, we’re smart as hell but let’s not get cocky and let’s work hard and do this funny and smart. At the beginning Conan said he got the job because he felt he didn’t have anything to loose.
When the initial reviews and ratings came in, NBC wanted to fire Conan but they didn’t have a replacement ready. So talk about nothing to loose, Conan and the staff really went for it night after night and within a couple of years, they really hit their stride. Pound for pound it is right there toe-to-toe with Leno and Letterman.
What would my talk show be? It would have a great live rocking blues band. It would have a grill out full time so the studio smelled like a great Chicago steak house and drinks for the guests and audience ala Jimmy Kimmell. And I would have a huge computer screen so we could go live into dorky chat rooms and mess with people. My get up would be blue jeans and a blazer with a tie that was always the blue and gold/yellow colors of UCSB. There would be a guest side kick every night and lots of up and coming comedians. We would have "Audience Members Tell a Joke" and the cute dog/puppy of the day and their best cute dog/puppy story.
Noooooooooooooo
The movie “Waitress” is doing well. It’s a dramatic comedy about a woman who loves to bake pies; it’s touching, it’s clever, it’s romantic, it’s tender, it's every guy’s worst nightmare.
Why?
Barry Bonds continues to get closer to Hank Aaron’s all time home run record but nobody cares. Why? Because we know Bonds cheated with steroids. Cheering for Bonds would be like going to a Britney Spears concert because she lip-synchs well.
An oldie but a moldie
In Amsterdam, a 400-pound gorilla escaped its enclosure, ran amok, bit a woman- who is going to be OK - and then ran into a crowded restaurant. You know where the gorilla sat in the restaurant? Anywhere he wanted to.
Sounds nice
Paris Hilton is facing 23 days in jail, but it isn’t the L.A. county jail, it is a special jail for celebrities. To show how luxurious the jail Paris is going to is, solitary confinement is also an aroma therapy session.
To give you an idea how fancy Paris’s jail is: the prisoners only stick each other with sterling silver shivs.
It adds up
Keith Richards is shopping his biography around for $5 million; that sounds like a lot but that works out to a thousand dollars a year.
Keith Richards is shopping his biography around for $5 million; however, Keith’s biography on tape is only going for $100. That’s because, on tape, you can’t understand a word Keith says.
Getting weird
Former Tour De France winner Greg LeMond testified at the doping hearing of Floyd Landis that Landis’s manager threatened to expose that LeMond was molested by his uncle. And if that wasn’t weird enough, in burst Phil Spector in a dress yelling that he was innocent.
It also adds up
In addition to facing jail time, Paris Hilton is being sued for $10 million dollars; insiders say that, due to her lavish lifestyle, Paris doesn’t have close to $10 million. If she loses the lawsuit, to raise $10 mil, so Paris will have to charge each lover $10 bucks a throw.
Since you asked:
As I monitor the big three talk shows pretty closely, Leno, Letterman and O’Brien, I think it is fascinating how you can detect the host’s personality in the making of the show. Leno and Letterman are the only two I’ve met and or seen in person and Leno is the only one who I have spent time talking to.
Anyone and everyone who knows Leno cannot stress enough how he really is a great guy, and he honestly is. But don’t kid yourself, the guy works his ass off and he is a real pro. If there is anything that surprised me about meeting Leno is that he strikes me as a real student/professor of comedy and not just the very able host of a show. And that is the sense when you see his show. The people are really friendly but they aren’t kidding around either. They want to put out a slick, professional product and they do. That is one well oiled machine, just like Leno’s cars.
The vibe I get from Letterman’s show live is that the high school audio/video geeks have suddenly been giving a huge budget and a show. (“Hey, let’s go up to the roof and hurl cool stuff off”) Now it’s their chance to make fun of the cool kids. There is also a sense of a lot of pressure because there is the clear sense Letterman is tough on everyone but he is toughest on himself. And the studio really is freezing. But Dave also seems very Midwestern and beloved by those around him.
My wife’s reaction to Letterman is pretty classic: she laughs shakes her said and mutters “Dave” in a “oh, that scamp” like you would to a feisty but hilarious Uncle.
Conan O’Brien’s show is probably a lot like Harvard Lampoon was like when he was the managing editor. Sure, we’re smart as hell but let’s not get cocky and let’s work hard and do this funny and smart. At the beginning Conan said he got the job because he felt he didn’t have anything to loose.
When the initial reviews and ratings came in, NBC wanted to fire Conan but they didn’t have a replacement ready. So talk about nothing to loose, Conan and the staff really went for it night after night and within a couple of years, they really hit their stride. Pound for pound it is right there toe-to-toe with Leno and Letterman.
What would my talk show be? It would have a great live rocking blues band. It would have a grill out full time so the studio smelled like a great Chicago steak house and drinks for the guests and audience ala Jimmy Kimmell. And I would have a huge computer screen so we could go live into dorky chat rooms and mess with people. My get up would be blue jeans and a blazer with a tie that was always the blue and gold/yellow colors of UCSB. There would be a guest side kick every night and lots of up and coming comedians. We would have "Audience Members Tell a Joke" and the cute dog/puppy of the day and their best cute dog/puppy story.
posted by Alex at
1:28 PM
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