It is hard out here
Drop it like it’s snot, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
That should do it
Baghdad has established a curfew. And if the terrorists do not adhere to the curfew they are like so totally grounded for a whole week.
Now that’s post season useless
$25 million-a-year New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez continued to bat under .100 for the post season. The only way A-Rod could be more useless in the post-season is if he was a Chicago Cub.
Not seeing it
After a wild week of self-promotion and over-publicity including a pain-killer over-dose, Terrell Owens dropped several passes in the Cowboys 38-24 loss to Philadelphia Eagles. T.O. once compared himself to Jesus. Really? Maybe the holes in the hands.
Owens publicist then announced Terrell experienced an accidental reaction to having too much butter on his fingers.
Terrell Owens is releasing a children’s book. called “Little T. Learns to Share.” It is object lesson for kids in hypocrisy and irony..
Busy place
Paris Hilton got punched in the face at a popular Hollywood nightclub. You thought that nightclub was popular before? Wait until people find out they can go there and punch Paris Hilton in the face.
Paris should not have been surprised. Friday night was Crank A Skank Night.
That would be the last thing a kid needs
You know what a new report claims kids need to stay mentally healthy? More free play time. You know the last thing a kid needs to stay mentally healthy? Mark Foley’s e-mail address.
North Korea claims they have tested their first nuclear device. And the microwave worked fine.
Why? Why so mean to my beloved Cubbies?
Rumor has it that New York Yankee manager Joe Torre may become the manager for the Chicago Cubs. Apparently Torre wants to take even more time off during the post season.
Raider Nation decapitation
After losing to the San Francisco Forty Niners 34-20. the Oakland Raiders are 0-4 and, including last season, have now lost ten in a row. It is so bad that the Raiders announced they were molested by a Pirate and have checked into rehab.
They are doing so bad they will have to change their name to the Republican Congressmen.
Pope upsets gay Muslims
Pope Benedict spoke out against gays calling them the greatest threat to marriage. The Pope went on to add that, although gays are the greatest threat to marriage, they are the biggest help when it comes to wedding planning.
“Oh, snap, girlfriend, you are so not dropping those tacky floral invitations on my gay behind.”
That’s a lot of guys looking to score
During their 3-1 playoff loss to the St. Louis Cardinals, the San Diego Padres were only 2- 32 with runners in scoring position. The Padres stranded more men about to score than Paris Hilton’s last S.T.D.
Oh no I di’’nt.
New Yorkers are still in shock at how badly the Yankees did in the playoffs. In fact, in Times Square, the Hookers are offering a Yankees special: they suck with guys in scoring position.
Yes he wases our widdle Wovie dovie, yes he wases
The Chicago Bears beat the Buffalo Bills 40-7 for their fifth straight win. The Bears coach Lovie Smith, is doing so well that, for the first time this year, hard core, tough Chicago Bears fans can actually admit their coach’s name is Lovie.
That should do it
Baghdad has established a curfew. And if the terrorists do not adhere to the curfew they are like so totally grounded for a whole week.
Now that’s post season useless
$25 million-a-year New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez continued to bat under .100 for the post season. The only way A-Rod could be more useless in the post-season is if he was a Chicago Cub.
Not seeing it
After a wild week of self-promotion and over-publicity including a pain-killer over-dose, Terrell Owens dropped several passes in the Cowboys 38-24 loss to Philadelphia Eagles. T.O. once compared himself to Jesus. Really? Maybe the holes in the hands.
Owens publicist then announced Terrell experienced an accidental reaction to having too much butter on his fingers.
Terrell Owens is releasing a children’s book. called “Little T. Learns to Share.” It is object lesson for kids in hypocrisy and irony..
Busy place
Paris Hilton got punched in the face at a popular Hollywood nightclub. You thought that nightclub was popular before? Wait until people find out they can go there and punch Paris Hilton in the face.
Paris should not have been surprised. Friday night was Crank A Skank Night.
That would be the last thing a kid needs
You know what a new report claims kids need to stay mentally healthy? More free play time. You know the last thing a kid needs to stay mentally healthy? Mark Foley’s e-mail address.
North Korea claims they have tested their first nuclear device. And the microwave worked fine.
Why? Why so mean to my beloved Cubbies?
Rumor has it that New York Yankee manager Joe Torre may become the manager for the Chicago Cubs. Apparently Torre wants to take even more time off during the post season.
Raider Nation decapitation
After losing to the San Francisco Forty Niners 34-20. the Oakland Raiders are 0-4 and, including last season, have now lost ten in a row. It is so bad that the Raiders announced they were molested by a Pirate and have checked into rehab.
They are doing so bad they will have to change their name to the Republican Congressmen.
Pope upsets gay Muslims
Pope Benedict spoke out against gays calling them the greatest threat to marriage. The Pope went on to add that, although gays are the greatest threat to marriage, they are the biggest help when it comes to wedding planning.
“Oh, snap, girlfriend, you are so not dropping those tacky floral invitations on my gay behind.”
That’s a lot of guys looking to score
During their 3-1 playoff loss to the St. Louis Cardinals, the San Diego Padres were only 2- 32 with runners in scoring position. The Padres stranded more men about to score than Paris Hilton’s last S.T.D.
Oh no I di’’nt.
New Yorkers are still in shock at how badly the Yankees did in the playoffs. In fact, in Times Square, the Hookers are offering a Yankees special: they suck with guys in scoring position.
Yes he wases our widdle Wovie dovie, yes he wases
The Chicago Bears beat the Buffalo Bills 40-7 for their fifth straight win. The Bears coach Lovie Smith, is doing so well that, for the first time this year, hard core, tough Chicago Bears fans can actually admit their coach’s name is Lovie.
posted by Alex at
1:04 PM
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