It is hard out here

It got all random with the tore down, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

My mistake
I saw “Pirates of the Caribbean” this weekend. This one is called “Dead Man’s Chest” but oddly enough it doesn’t have anything to do with Dick Cheney.

A man in Portland, Ore., is suing Michael Jordan and Nike for $832 million because he claims his life has been difficult because he resembles Michael Jordan. All I can say is that if this suit holds up, Brad Pitt will be hearing from my attorney.

Youch
People are still talking about that French player, Zinedine Zidane, who was kicked out of the World Cup for head butting an Italian; it is the most controversy anyone has caused by using their head since, well, Monica Lewinski.  

The really good news after the World Cup? They have discovered the key to immortality. Apparently it is that cold sprayer they used on injured players; one second their leg needed to be amputated, one squirt and the next they are up and running around.


French player, Zinedine Zidane, who was kicked out of the World Cup for head butting an Italian player, was voted the World Cup’s outstanding player. I guess you can get away with anything in soccer as long as you don’t use your hands.

French head-butt’r Zinedine Zidane was voted the World Cup’s outstanding player; personally, I think the World Cup MVP should have gone to those amazing trainers. They magically transformed players dying on a stretcher back to full speed in one second on the sideline.

Who knew?
Newly discovered letters reveal that Albert Einstein may have had at least six different affairs while he was married to his second wife, Elsa; apparently the C in E= MC2 stands for Clinton.  

Newly discovered letters reveal that Albert Einstein may have had at least six different affairs while he was married to his second wife, Elsa, who was his cousin. Yes, Einstein was married to his cousin. That brings a whole new meaning to the theory of relativity.  

Apparently fidelity is another theory that was relative.