Tuesday, January 03, 2006

We rockin a 2006 up

We rockin’ a 2006 up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Happy New Year

How wet and windy was it?
It was so windy in Hollywood, in “Brokeback Mountain” even the straight cowboys were getting blown.

It has been raining so hard in California, today Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger actually had to learn how to pronounce the word: saturation.  

It was so rainy in Los Angeles people were renting the movie “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo” hoping it would suck so much it would dry them off.

It has been so rainy in Hollywood, Lindsay Lohan crashed her motorboat on Sunset Blvd.

It has been so wet in Los Angeles, Phil Specter shot an actress with a spear gun.

It rained on the Rose Bowl parade for the first time in Fifty Years. It rained so hard fifty years ago Cher’s skin got pruney so she got her first botox injection.

It is so windy in Hollywood, two straight guys were blown into a movie theater showing “Pride and Prejudice.”  

It was so windy in Hollywood, two straight guys were blown into a movie theater showing “Brokeback Mountain.”

In the New England Patriot’s 28-26 loss to the Miami Dolphins, Doug Flutie kicked the first drop kick since 1941. Now I don’t want to say Flutie is old, but the guy who kicked the drop kick in 1941? Doug Flutie.

Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
President Bush said that he was 100% right to wire tap; Bush went on the say that when he is 100% right, he is right nine out of ten times.

No Chance
Rumor has it that Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt’s child; you have to feel sorry for that kid; no matter how good looking the kid is, people are going to ask; “What happened?”  
Not nice
On Feb 9th the Chinese New Year starts the year of the dog. And it is the special at the Beijing Sizzlers.

Now that he has a problem with
London Millionaire Sharon Tendler married her pet dolphin, Cindy; President Bush had no problem with that marriage until he found out it was a same sex marriage.

Oliver Stoned
After the utter failure of “Alexander” the studio took an interesting marketing tact for Colin Ferrell’s latest historical epic “The New World.” Initially the title was going to be “The New Non-Gay World That Oliver Stone didn’t direct.”