Its time to lay down

We a mean machine right in between, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Mon Dieu
President Bush has declared a war on pornography; you thought the French could surrender fast before?


Go figure?
How ironic, a guy named Bush declaring a war on porn.


The war on pornography is different. The fighting is all hand to hand.


Bush is serious about this war on pornography. Today they sent the first plane load of pool cleaners and pizza delivery men to Camp X-Ray.


Notice how President Bush waited to declare a war on pornography in his second term? If Bush had declared war on pornography in his first term even John Kerry could have beaten him


President Bush has declared a war on pornography; well, at least Bush found a war with its own built-in exit strategy.


Oops
A study reveals that erectile dysfunction drugs, like Viagra and Cialis, may cause kindness. Oh, sorry, I didn’t read that right, they may cause blindness, not kindness, I read that wrong.


A study reveals that erectile dysfunction drugs, like Viagra and Cialis, may cause blindness. Upon hearing this, Prince Charles replied; “What’s the bad news?”


Oh sure, now that he is married and President,  Bush declares a war on pornography; if the Internet had been around when Bush was in that frat in college, he would have had to have been hospitalized for tendonitis of the elbow.
     

Mullah in the Middle
Albert Brooks is starring in a comedy titled “Looking For Comedy in the Muslim World.” There is a lot of comedy in the Muslim world. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “ah-Kahnot bah’leef.” “ah-Kahnot bah’leef who?” “ah-Kahnot bah’leef I tried to knock on a tent.”


Albert Brooks is starring in a comedy titled “Looking For Comedy in the Muslim World.” There is a lot of comedy in the Muslim world. What day does a suicide bomber dread? February 14th. You try and figure out what to get 72 virgins for Valentines Day.


There is a lot of comedy in the Muslim world. It’s just not a place where a comedian wants to bomb, that’s all.


Vast Improvement
After Kobe Bryant’s mind-boggling 81 point scoring spree, Kobe reports his teammates are calling him Mr. 81. That’s an improvement, during is sexual assault trial, they called him Mr. 69.


Shame on me
The Pope announced that erotic desire without sacrifice or spiritual devotion, is not love. To which every man on the planet replied, who cares?


And they have “Gilmore Girls”
The WB and UPN networks will be shut down this Fall to form a new network, CW. The WB and UPN Networks feature such popular shows as “Gilmore Girls” and, well, there is that other one, and, of course, uh, and, um, did I mention “Gilmore Girls”?


Identity crisis
Philadelphia Pacer star Ron Artest said he was unhappy and simply stopped playing. Then the Pacers tried to trade him to Sacramento Kings, but he won’t go. So Artest won’t go to work and won’t go anywhere else. Who does he think he is, Kevin Federline?  


Uh, Jessica, no, that’s not, oh forget it
Insiders say that Jessica Simpson is lobbying to be the next Bond girl; or as Jessica Simpson calls James Bond: Zero, Zero and This many (Seven Fingers)


Yuck
Have you seen the commercial for the anti-mucus drug, Mucinex? It features a huge, green, disgusting Mucus cartoon character. What is with this trend of medicine companies portraying gross cartoon characters like the yellow toe fungus monsters in Lamisil? And let’s all pray the folks at Preparation-H don’t hear about it.