Its time to lay down
Rock steady, baby, that’s what I feel now, let’s call this song exactly what it is, what it is, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Toy Story
The biggest selling toy in the Arab world is Falla, a Muslim Barbi doll with a head scarf. The second most popular toy in the Arab world? Explode Me Elmo.
Toy Story 2
The biggest selling toy in the Arab world is Falla, a Muslim Barbi doll with a head scarf. The second most popular toy in the Arab world? The boy’s soldier doll: Jihad Joe.
Fat heads
Kraft announced they are coming out with a wide-mouth jar of mayonnaise. How fat and lazy have we become when we have to have a mayonnaise jar so wide that you can stick your head right in it and start lapping.
Here she comes, Miss Demeanor
For the first time the Miss America pageant was in Las Vegas. The Miss America pageant was a little different in Las Vegas, for example, Miss Congeniality was arrested for soliciting a cop.
For the talent competition, Miss California snuck over a ten foot high border fence.
Motto
The Super Bowl is in Detroit on February 5. You know how the motto of Las Vegas is “What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas?” In Detroit, the motto is “What Happens in Detroit Gets Dumped in the Detroit River.”
It is cold in Detroit. The Michigan state bird is a snowball.
We don’t want to imply that Detroit is dangerous, but the city crest is a body chalk outline.
Detroit is a tough city. The number one cause of death is dying from hypothermia while being treated for a gunshot wound.
Must Flee TV
NBC has cancelled “Will and Grace.” Some people are taking this kind of hard. Ryan Seacrest was so depressed he could only go to six of his TV hosting jobs today.
NBC has cancelled “Will and Grace.” Some people are taking this kind of hard. Tom Cruise is so upset he actually held Katie Holmes for comfort.
NBC has dropped “The West Wing.” Apparently they found pictures of President Bartlett with Jack Abramoff.
(Thanks, J.H.)
Who knew?
On this date in 1908 the Boy Scouts were founded in London. Did you know that the Boy Scouts started in London? This explains why there is no Dentistry Merit Badge.
Too bad
People are still talking about the Los Angeles Lakers Kobe Bryant’s 81 points in one game against the Toronto Raptors. The only bad news? The other four Lakers were arrested for loitering.
81 points in one game. Now we know what Kobe is capable when he focuses his energy away from the room service waitresses.
Kobe said he was happy with is 81 points considering he had a bad ankle. That has to make the
Toronto Raptors feel good. How many would he have scored if he felt good?
Mean, so mean
This Sunday is the Screen Actors Guild, or SAG awards. Now, I’m not positive, but at the Golden Globes didn’t Drew Barrymore and her green dress already win the SAG award?
Ford Ward
Super Bowl XL is being played in Ford Field. Otherwise known as Pink Slip Stadium.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not what, oh forget it
It was embarrassing when they asked President Bush which team he is for in the Super Bowl. Bush said, “The Seahawks because I don’t think a team should be named the Steelers because that might encourage children to steal.”
Since you asked:
So, once again, me and the Stinker, aka, Swinker, aka, Swinkietown, aka, Swinkhiemer, are at the store. We pop into the local bakery because, as I am grilling my killer, avocado, bacon cheeseburgers, I need the killer buns and they normally have them.
Well, they were sold out but they did have hamburger buns but made of Challah, (pronounced Hallah) a sweet Jewish dessert bread. Maybe, I thought, they would go well with grill marks, but, in the end, I decided not to get them. Why? Wait for it, wait for it . . . ‘cause I ain’t no Challah bread grill, no I ain’t no Challah bread grill . . .
OK, that one even made me a little sick.
Toy Story
The biggest selling toy in the Arab world is Falla, a Muslim Barbi doll with a head scarf. The second most popular toy in the Arab world? Explode Me Elmo.
Toy Story 2
The biggest selling toy in the Arab world is Falla, a Muslim Barbi doll with a head scarf. The second most popular toy in the Arab world? The boy’s soldier doll: Jihad Joe.
Fat heads
Kraft announced they are coming out with a wide-mouth jar of mayonnaise. How fat and lazy have we become when we have to have a mayonnaise jar so wide that you can stick your head right in it and start lapping.
Here she comes, Miss Demeanor
For the first time the Miss America pageant was in Las Vegas. The Miss America pageant was a little different in Las Vegas, for example, Miss Congeniality was arrested for soliciting a cop.
For the talent competition, Miss California snuck over a ten foot high border fence.
Motto
The Super Bowl is in Detroit on February 5. You know how the motto of Las Vegas is “What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas?” In Detroit, the motto is “What Happens in Detroit Gets Dumped in the Detroit River.”
It is cold in Detroit. The Michigan state bird is a snowball.
We don’t want to imply that Detroit is dangerous, but the city crest is a body chalk outline.
Detroit is a tough city. The number one cause of death is dying from hypothermia while being treated for a gunshot wound.
Must Flee TV
NBC has cancelled “Will and Grace.” Some people are taking this kind of hard. Ryan Seacrest was so depressed he could only go to six of his TV hosting jobs today.
NBC has cancelled “Will and Grace.” Some people are taking this kind of hard. Tom Cruise is so upset he actually held Katie Holmes for comfort.
NBC has dropped “The West Wing.” Apparently they found pictures of President Bartlett with Jack Abramoff.
(Thanks, J.H.)
Who knew?
On this date in 1908 the Boy Scouts were founded in London. Did you know that the Boy Scouts started in London? This explains why there is no Dentistry Merit Badge.
Too bad
People are still talking about the Los Angeles Lakers Kobe Bryant’s 81 points in one game against the Toronto Raptors. The only bad news? The other four Lakers were arrested for loitering.
81 points in one game. Now we know what Kobe is capable when he focuses his energy away from the room service waitresses.
Kobe said he was happy with is 81 points considering he had a bad ankle. That has to make the
Toronto Raptors feel good. How many would he have scored if he felt good?
Mean, so mean
This Sunday is the Screen Actors Guild, or SAG awards. Now, I’m not positive, but at the Golden Globes didn’t Drew Barrymore and her green dress already win the SAG award?
Ford Ward
Super Bowl XL is being played in Ford Field. Otherwise known as Pink Slip Stadium.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not what, oh forget it
It was embarrassing when they asked President Bush which team he is for in the Super Bowl. Bush said, “The Seahawks because I don’t think a team should be named the Steelers because that might encourage children to steal.”
Since you asked:
So, once again, me and the Stinker, aka, Swinker, aka, Swinkietown, aka, Swinkhiemer, are at the store. We pop into the local bakery because, as I am grilling my killer, avocado, bacon cheeseburgers, I need the killer buns and they normally have them.
Well, they were sold out but they did have hamburger buns but made of Challah, (pronounced Hallah) a sweet Jewish dessert bread. Maybe, I thought, they would go well with grill marks, but, in the end, I decided not to get them. Why? Wait for it, wait for it . . . ‘cause I ain’t no Challah bread grill, no I ain’t no Challah bread grill . . .
OK, that one even made me a little sick.
posted by Alex at
4:55 PM
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