Friday, November 18, 2005

November 18

Hey budahbabe, howbeyoubeyoube, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?



Sex facts
According to “Men’s Health” magazine, men use 143 muscles during sex. But then it only takes 45 muscles afterwards to apologize profusely.


You might guess
The town of Clark, TX has agreed to change its name to Dish in exchange for ten years of free satellite dish service. And you won’t believe what the men want for free in Beaver, Utah.


Oh brothel, I mean brother
Former Hollywood Madam Hiedi Fliess is opening a brothel for women with male prostitutes. Right now Hiedi is running two specials, the $300, “Honey, can we have a long talk?” and the $500, “Here is your list of chores, dear, then we can cuddle.”


Eww
According to Ikea 11% of people have sex in their kitchen. Think about that the next time the sweet little old lady across the street bakes you brownies.


According to Ikea 11% of people have sex in their kitchen. Upon hearing this, Paris Hilton said; “Eww, that sounds hot, but, like, what’s a kitchen?”


T.O. reductemy
Philadelphia Eagle quarterback Donovan McNabb has been advised to have season ending groin surgery. The good news? McNabb already had the procedure to remove his chronic pain in his butt: they canned Terrell Owens.  


We can all be thankful
“Star Trek’s” Capt Kirk, William Shatner, is auctioning his kidney stone on eBay. I think we can all be thankful Shatner didn’t have colon polyps.


Hope not
NBC cancelled, “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart” Gosh, I hope this doesn’t cause ex-con Martha to return to her old gang banging thug-life.


NBC cancelled, “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart.” It was kind of nice how they fired Martha, NBC sent her a calligraphy cotton candy shaded pink slip.
  

Not enough pot

The Jones Soda Co. has come out with another whacky flavor: salmon pâté soda. Even Snoop Dog couldn’t get stoned enough to try that.


It was either salmon pâté or their other new flavor: Manhattan Style Hot Dog Water.