You don’t call the house, already, ready, Freddy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Harr, avast there yee scallywags
Pirates attacked a luxury cruise liner off of the coast Africa with canons and gun shots. The attackers then withdrew when they were informed that Halloween was over days ago.
That sounds about right
In London, a new study has found that 80,000 lines of cocaine spill into the River Thames every day. As a result they have changed the name to River Kate Moss.
Yikes
KFC has announced that its customers have no risk of getting avian flu from eating its chicken; disturbingly, KFC went on to say if there is ever a rat or cat flu then their customers can worry.
Chilly Bird day
Tom Cruise has fired his publicist who just happens to also be his sister. Things could get a little icy at Thanksgiving: “Excuse me, could you tell shorty I don’t work for him anymore and if he wants the damn gravy to ask that bastard he replaced me with.”
Tom Cruise has fired his publicist. Is that really going to help? The way Cruise has been acting he should fire his psychiatrist.
Nutty-acting Tom Cruise announced has fired his sister publicist. The bad news? He replaced her with Terrill Owens.
Tom Cruise has fired his sister publicist. Is that going to help? At this point that’s like Michael Jackson firing his makeup artist.
Well, that’s something anyway
This week the trial started for the men who tried to blackmail Yankee slugger Gary Sheffield by releasing a videotape of Sheffield’s wife having sex. In a related story, Sheffield’s wife was offered one of vacant spots on the Carolina Panther’s cheerleading squad.
Yep, this again
The Carolina Panthers have fired the two cheerleaders for conduct embarrassing to the team; upon hearing that, the Houston Texans fired their entire offensive line.
What won’t they think of next?
A company in California has come out with a wine inspired by Michael Jackson that is called “Jesus Juice.” You have to be twenty one to buy it and under ten to drink it.
What a coincidence
Madonna announced she is through with acting. This announcement comes twenty years to the day that acting was officially through with Madonna.
Great idea
Lindsay Lohan has announced she is enrolling in New York University. She wants to get her degree so that she can go on to teach driver’s ed.
Ahhhnold
All of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s four propositions failed. What I can hardly wait for is to see how Arnold, the most unfailingly upbeat guy in the world, puts a positive spin on this;
“Yah, it’s fantastic, all of deese things mit da humiliation, and defeat and da embarrassment and mit da losing and da loss of zah power, and da things of dat nature, yah, it’s fantastic.”
Harr, avast there yee scallywags
Pirates attacked a luxury cruise liner off of the coast Africa with canons and gun shots. The attackers then withdrew when they were informed that Halloween was over days ago.
That sounds about right
In London, a new study has found that 80,000 lines of cocaine spill into the River Thames every day. As a result they have changed the name to River Kate Moss.
Yikes
KFC has announced that its customers have no risk of getting avian flu from eating its chicken; disturbingly, KFC went on to say if there is ever a rat or cat flu then their customers can worry.
Chilly Bird day
Tom Cruise has fired his publicist who just happens to also be his sister. Things could get a little icy at Thanksgiving: “Excuse me, could you tell shorty I don’t work for him anymore and if he wants the damn gravy to ask that bastard he replaced me with.”
Tom Cruise has fired his publicist. Is that really going to help? The way Cruise has been acting he should fire his psychiatrist.
Nutty-acting Tom Cruise announced has fired his sister publicist. The bad news? He replaced her with Terrill Owens.
Tom Cruise has fired his sister publicist. Is that going to help? At this point that’s like Michael Jackson firing his makeup artist.
Well, that’s something anyway
This week the trial started for the men who tried to blackmail Yankee slugger Gary Sheffield by releasing a videotape of Sheffield’s wife having sex. In a related story, Sheffield’s wife was offered one of vacant spots on the Carolina Panther’s cheerleading squad.
Yep, this again
The Carolina Panthers have fired the two cheerleaders for conduct embarrassing to the team; upon hearing that, the Houston Texans fired their entire offensive line.
What won’t they think of next?
A company in California has come out with a wine inspired by Michael Jackson that is called “Jesus Juice.” You have to be twenty one to buy it and under ten to drink it.
What a coincidence
Madonna announced she is through with acting. This announcement comes twenty years to the day that acting was officially through with Madonna.
Great idea
Lindsay Lohan has announced she is enrolling in New York University. She wants to get her degree so that she can go on to teach driver’s ed.
Ahhhnold
All of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s four propositions failed. What I can hardly wait for is to see how Arnold, the most unfailingly upbeat guy in the world, puts a positive spin on this;
“Yah, it’s fantastic, all of deese things mit da humiliation, and defeat and da embarrassment and mit da losing and da loss of zah power, and da things of dat nature, yah, it’s fantastic.”
posted by Alex at
8:19 AM
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