November 9

How we do it is how we do it to it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Oops
It was a little embarrassing when Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles wrapped up their US tour; President Bush called the Prince and said; “You and your Aunt are welcome here any time.”


So sad
It’s starting to get a little sad for Terrell Owens. In a desperate attempt to get some attention, last night Terrell Owens tried to have sex in a bar bathroom with a hot lesbian cheerleader but, like the Eagles, she also dumped Terrell.

A bye by another spelling
The San Diego Chargers, the Cincinnati Bengals, the Tennessee Titans and the New Orleans Saints all have byes this week. In fact one team had two bi’s this week, but the Carolina Panther’s fired those cheerleaders.


You’ve heard the Carolina Panthers fired two cheerleaders who were arrested for having sex with each other in a Tampa bar bathroom and starting a fight. You know who I feel sorry for? The remaining Panther Cheerleaders on Sunday; guys will be liquored up yelling; “Eww, a high kick and the splits. Big deal. Come on, you can do more than that.”



You make and have reservations
In Iraq, they are going to build a huge luxury hotel in downtown Baghdad; positions as valet parking attendants are still available.


In Iraq, they are going to build a huge luxury hotel in downtown Baghdad. You know how Chicago has the House of Blues Hotel? Baghdad will have the House of Kablews Hotel.




Thank you, thank you, thank you     

By now you’ve heard about the Carolina Panthers fired two cheerleaders who were arrested for having sex with each other in a Tampa bar bathroom and then starting a female cat fight. I’ve been busy trying to retrace my steps to figure out which god I pleased and why.  


Start me up with Metamucil

The Rolling Stones received rave reviews for their concert here at the Hollywood Bowl; but you can tell the Stones are older. Like how Mick Jagger changed the lyrics from “Hey, hey, you, you get off of my cloud” to “Hey, hey, you you punks get off of my lawn.”


Like how Mick Jagger changed “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” to “You Can’t Always Remember What You Want.”


Like how Mick Jagger changed “Jumping Jack Flash” to “Broken Hip Flash.”


The Rolling Stones received rave reviews for their concert here at the Hollywood Bowl but you can tell the Stones are getting older. After their last encore, Mick came off the stage and grumbled, “That’s not music, that’s noise.”


The Rolling Stones received rave reviews for their concert here at the Hollywood Bowl but you can tell the Stones are getting older. At one point during the concert, Mick turned to the band and yelled; “You punks turn down that noise or I’ll call the cops.”


Chic
You know what the latest trend is in Hollywood? Sushi served on the body of a beautiful naked woman. You know what the second latest trend is? Guys making really inappropriate tuna jokes.