Tuesday, November 01, 2005


We got us our punkin’ on’r than a mofizzy last nichtizzy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

How . . . wild . . . was . . .it?
It was a wild Halloween. One kid dressed as Billy Joel crashed into a kid dressed as Lindsay Lohan.

I had a rough Halloween. I went as a pirate and my parrot caught the bird flu.

Hate to hear that
Jay Leno was on Oprah. It was a little awkward, when Leno sat on Oprah’s couch he got Tom Cruise’s tiny little dirty foot prints all over his pants.

A tad late
My doorbell rang today, the day after Halloween; turns out it was a kid trick or treating as Ex-FEMA head Michael Brown.

Lex and Janice Hough’s collaboration
President Bush has declared a war on pornography; if Bush wants to get rid of pornography, he should just put it on prime time on NBC, it will be cancelled in a couple of weeks.

Call it what it is
You know what I hate about Halloween? That big time candy executives decided to call tiny pieces of Halloween candy “fun size.” What’s fun about too small? Why not call them what they

Rambo, oh, oh, my back
Sylvester Stallone has announced he is going to make another Rambo movie. In this one Rambo declares war when his nemesis tries to change the channel from “Matlock” to “Wheel of Fortune” at their assisted care facility.

Not all there
A survey reveals that 66% think President Bush is doing a bad job in Iraq; the other 34% think Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes make a super dreamy couple.

Kind of like that
On “Monday Night Football” the once-greatest pass defender in the NFL, 38-year-old Baltimore Ravens “Prime Time” Deion Sanders, was only used on short yardage situations; ten years ago that would be like using Eric Clapton to play the cowbell on a wedding band’s rendition of “Don’t Fear the Reaper.”

I don’t want to say he’s getting old but now “Prime Time” for Deion Sanders is during the Early Bird special.

In an interview in “Vanity Fair” magazine, Woody Allen said his relationship with his 35-years-younger wife Soon-Yi is more paternal than anything else; afterwards Soon-Yi asked Woody; “What does paternerternalal mean?.”

Since you asked:

You know how I can tend to rant on and on about how rude folks are around here? The trick or treaters last night? Very nice. Well mannered. Friendly. Polite. Nobody even smashed our pumpkin.

It was a good night. I watched Monday Night Football and cooked Steak Diane for the second time – not happy with the first effort – and this time it came out better. Sauce was much better.
Then it happened. Uh oh. Older teenage high school trick or treaters. Trouble now, right? Not exactly. They were collecting cans of food for victims of Katrina. Huh? Gave them three good ones, tomato soup, refried beans and green beans, not just the standard pumpkin pie filling and a can of okra.

Ann Caroline had a blast as a Hula Girl. She ain’t big on candy so she loves to hand it out to her appreciative friends. I remember when A.C. first went trick or treating. She was three and in her ballerina outfit and when they gave her treats her face lit up like she had found her lifetime calling.

If Ann Caroline was president every day we would wear a costume, play soccer, have a play date, hand out candy and sing Christmas songs by the tree.