10-27
What we got is the got what we got, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
No baked cookies or teas here
Hillary Clinton celebrated her 58th birthday Wednesday. It was a quiet, small celebration, Hillary spent the time dining with just her immediate loved ones. So obviously Bill wasn’t there.
I’m not loving it
McDonalds is trying to improve their image, they have leather couches, flat screen TVs. And in special locations, they will even provide an English translator to interpret what the cashier says.
McDonalds is trying to improve their image, they have leather couches, flat screen TVs. And if this works they will get even fancier and start putting actual beef into their hamburger meat.
McDonalds is trying to improve their image, they have leather couches, flat screen TVs. And now they are going to put nutritional information on the wrappers. Yeah, it will even include the formula for a potentially life-saving antidote.
Speaking of cult-like money-sucking monoliths
Starbucks is teaming up with the Rolling Stones on a promotional deal. I think it’s being billed as the Rock Geezers and the Consumer Squeezers.
Not many
The Chicago White Sox swept the Houston Astros in what is the lowest rated World Series ever. To show you how low, more people supported Harriet Miers than watched the World Series.
Great tie-in
Did you see all the shots of former first lady Barbara Bush at the World Series in Houston directly behind home plate? At first I thought it was an ad for Quaker Oats oatmeal.
Not good
I don’t want to say the Houston Astros are depressed, but today they had to get a pep talk from Dick Cheney.
Not good at all
Morale is so low at the White House, Dick Cheney is giving the staff pep talks. And Cheney ends his pep talk as he always does, screaming “Clear” and getting a blast from a heart defibrillator.
Morale is so low at the White House, Dick Cheney is giving the staff pep talks. And what could possibly cheer people up more than a growling speech punctuated with a heart attack?
Something like that
Starbucks is teaming up with the Rolling Stones in a cross promotion. What’s their slogan going to be, the Rock Geezers and the Consumer Squeezers?
I don’t want to say it was bad for the Houston Astros, but for Halloween the Houston Astros are all going as the 0-6 Houston Texans.
Again, not good
Morale is so low at the White House and the entire staff is so depressed they are dressing up for Halloween as the Houston Astros.
That long, huh?
If the White Sox win the World Series the only team with a long World Series drought will be the Chicago Cubs who haven’t won it since 1908. To show how long ago that was, at Wrigley Field in Chicago in 1908 was the very first time Ozzie Osbourne sang “Take me out to the ballgame.”
Who’dda thunk it?
Insiders say that, due to all of the problems, President Bush is reportedly sullen, short-tempered and drinking heavily. Who would have guessed Dick Cheney would end up being the fun guy in the White House?
That hard, huh?
It is raining like crazy in New York. It is raining so hard, to try and stay dry, people are huddling under Donald Trump’s hairpiece.
Yoko Ono, a lonely nation turns it’s head to you, ewww, ewww, ewww
Donald Trump and Regis Philbin have made a CD of Holiday Songs. I don’t want to say it is bad, but even Kathy Lee Gifford didn’t want to sing on it.
Donald Trump and Regis Philbin have made a CD of Holiday Songs. That's it. It’s official. Donald Trump will do absolutely anything to get attention.
Donald Trump and Regis Philbin have made a CD of Holiday Songs. This CD is so bad it is actually garnering interest for Kathy Lee Gifford’s Holiday CD.
Donald Trump and Regis Philbin have made a CD of Holiday Songs. This CD is a great holiday gift idea for that very special someone on your shopping list who desperately needs a drink coaster.
Donald Trump and Regis Philbin have made a CD of Holiday Songs. It’s a very handy gift. After you play the CD you can use the plastic jewel case to fashion a crude knife to slit your wrists.
Since you asked:
As I am one with my share of pet peeves, I take care not to inflict them on others. For example, as I despise long-slow-diagonal parking lot walkers, I take care to get to the side. But there are some folks who still insist on crowding you with their cars when you are walking so they can get to a parking spot sooner. It is rude and annoying, so I take pains not to do it.
No matter, if driving behind a grumpy old guy walking to his car (and without fail, grumpy old guys will always hang a monster long-slow-diagonal-walk on your behind) and you get anywhere within twenty feet he lets you have it: he cuts you the old-grumpy-guy-dirty-look. (Think Mr. Potter in “It’s a Wonderful Life.”)
What are you supposed to say?
“Oh, you got me good with that grumpy old guy look, ouch, I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll never drive in a parking lot again.”
Speaking of “It’s a Wonderful Life” the holidays approach and soon we will be watching these holiday movie gems. This has been bugging me. In “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “IAWL” Jimmy Stewart’s character, George Bailey, goes to Martini’s bar and gets housed. I mean he is plowed. Staggering drunk. Drives smack into a damn tree. Staggers around and gets to the bridge and that’s where the angel, Clarence, comes in.
After George sees how bollocks’d life is without him, he gets sent back to where he was right before Clarence. Here is my question: why isn’t he drunk again? Everything else is the same: Zsu Zsu's petals, bleeding lip, the snowing. Now, I know what you’re thinking, you’re gonna say the plunge into the icy river sobered him up. Nahhh. He was sent back to the bridge before he jumped in. No, he should have still been crocked to the gills.
Angels? I buy. Disappearing while wrestling with Bert the cop? Fine. People delightedly tossing over thousands and thousands of dollars? OK, I’ll bite. But a guy gets stinky drunk and then nothing? Not even a hangover? In fact he feels so good he goes running around hugging people? No chance. Keep it real, Hollywood, keep it real. You get a guy that drunk there has to be consequences.
And while I got your attention, Hollywood, never, ever kill the dog. Say it outloud, say it proud: "Turner and Hootch." Oh sure, you get one "Old Yeller" every hundred years, but don't push it.
And, back to "IAWL", I don’t think I can forgive George for blowing a slam-dunk quickie with the town trollop Violet Bick. Climb Mount Bedford? You out your mind, Buffalo Guy? Climb and mount in a bed with Violet. Don’t get me wrong, I want George to end up with Mary, but come on. Georgie-porgie gotta tap that but good.
And I have said this before and I will say it again even though it is probably wrong as hell; I still maintain Potterville was much more of a rockin’ happening place then Bedford Falls.
This is called "Since You Asked" for a reason.
(Polite applause)
Oh, and a B.L.T. should not be called a M.B.L.T. because it has mayonaise. Salt, pepper and condiments do not get billing. Period.
(Loud, gushing applause building to a crescendo)
By the way, I once drove a Ford Crescendo. Nice car. Not a Corsica, but nice.
No baked cookies or teas here
Hillary Clinton celebrated her 58th birthday Wednesday. It was a quiet, small celebration, Hillary spent the time dining with just her immediate loved ones. So obviously Bill wasn’t there.
I’m not loving it
McDonalds is trying to improve their image, they have leather couches, flat screen TVs. And in special locations, they will even provide an English translator to interpret what the cashier says.
McDonalds is trying to improve their image, they have leather couches, flat screen TVs. And if this works they will get even fancier and start putting actual beef into their hamburger meat.
McDonalds is trying to improve their image, they have leather couches, flat screen TVs. And now they are going to put nutritional information on the wrappers. Yeah, it will even include the formula for a potentially life-saving antidote.
Speaking of cult-like money-sucking monoliths
Starbucks is teaming up with the Rolling Stones on a promotional deal. I think it’s being billed as the Rock Geezers and the Consumer Squeezers.
Not many
The Chicago White Sox swept the Houston Astros in what is the lowest rated World Series ever. To show you how low, more people supported Harriet Miers than watched the World Series.
Great tie-in
Did you see all the shots of former first lady Barbara Bush at the World Series in Houston directly behind home plate? At first I thought it was an ad for Quaker Oats oatmeal.
Not good
I don’t want to say the Houston Astros are depressed, but today they had to get a pep talk from Dick Cheney.
Not good at all
Morale is so low at the White House, Dick Cheney is giving the staff pep talks. And Cheney ends his pep talk as he always does, screaming “Clear” and getting a blast from a heart defibrillator.
Morale is so low at the White House, Dick Cheney is giving the staff pep talks. And what could possibly cheer people up more than a growling speech punctuated with a heart attack?
Something like that
Starbucks is teaming up with the Rolling Stones in a cross promotion. What’s their slogan going to be, the Rock Geezers and the Consumer Squeezers?
I don’t want to say it was bad for the Houston Astros, but for Halloween the Houston Astros are all going as the 0-6 Houston Texans.
Again, not good
Morale is so low at the White House and the entire staff is so depressed they are dressing up for Halloween as the Houston Astros.
That long, huh?
If the White Sox win the World Series the only team with a long World Series drought will be the Chicago Cubs who haven’t won it since 1908. To show how long ago that was, at Wrigley Field in Chicago in 1908 was the very first time Ozzie Osbourne sang “Take me out to the ballgame.”
Who’dda thunk it?
Insiders say that, due to all of the problems, President Bush is reportedly sullen, short-tempered and drinking heavily. Who would have guessed Dick Cheney would end up being the fun guy in the White House?
That hard, huh?
It is raining like crazy in New York. It is raining so hard, to try and stay dry, people are huddling under Donald Trump’s hairpiece.
Yoko Ono, a lonely nation turns it’s head to you, ewww, ewww, ewww
Donald Trump and Regis Philbin have made a CD of Holiday Songs. I don’t want to say it is bad, but even Kathy Lee Gifford didn’t want to sing on it.
Donald Trump and Regis Philbin have made a CD of Holiday Songs. That's it. It’s official. Donald Trump will do absolutely anything to get attention.
Donald Trump and Regis Philbin have made a CD of Holiday Songs. This CD is so bad it is actually garnering interest for Kathy Lee Gifford’s Holiday CD.
Donald Trump and Regis Philbin have made a CD of Holiday Songs. This CD is a great holiday gift idea for that very special someone on your shopping list who desperately needs a drink coaster.
Donald Trump and Regis Philbin have made a CD of Holiday Songs. It’s a very handy gift. After you play the CD you can use the plastic jewel case to fashion a crude knife to slit your wrists.
Since you asked:
As I am one with my share of pet peeves, I take care not to inflict them on others. For example, as I despise long-slow-diagonal parking lot walkers, I take care to get to the side. But there are some folks who still insist on crowding you with their cars when you are walking so they can get to a parking spot sooner. It is rude and annoying, so I take pains not to do it.
No matter, if driving behind a grumpy old guy walking to his car (and without fail, grumpy old guys will always hang a monster long-slow-diagonal-walk on your behind) and you get anywhere within twenty feet he lets you have it: he cuts you the old-grumpy-guy-dirty-look. (Think Mr. Potter in “It’s a Wonderful Life.”)
What are you supposed to say?
“Oh, you got me good with that grumpy old guy look, ouch, I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll never drive in a parking lot again.”
Speaking of “It’s a Wonderful Life” the holidays approach and soon we will be watching these holiday movie gems. This has been bugging me. In “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “IAWL” Jimmy Stewart’s character, George Bailey, goes to Martini’s bar and gets housed. I mean he is plowed. Staggering drunk. Drives smack into a damn tree. Staggers around and gets to the bridge and that’s where the angel, Clarence, comes in.
After George sees how bollocks’d life is without him, he gets sent back to where he was right before Clarence. Here is my question: why isn’t he drunk again? Everything else is the same: Zsu Zsu's petals, bleeding lip, the snowing. Now, I know what you’re thinking, you’re gonna say the plunge into the icy river sobered him up. Nahhh. He was sent back to the bridge before he jumped in. No, he should have still been crocked to the gills.
Angels? I buy. Disappearing while wrestling with Bert the cop? Fine. People delightedly tossing over thousands and thousands of dollars? OK, I’ll bite. But a guy gets stinky drunk and then nothing? Not even a hangover? In fact he feels so good he goes running around hugging people? No chance. Keep it real, Hollywood, keep it real. You get a guy that drunk there has to be consequences.
And while I got your attention, Hollywood, never, ever kill the dog. Say it outloud, say it proud: "Turner and Hootch." Oh sure, you get one "Old Yeller" every hundred years, but don't push it.
And, back to "IAWL", I don’t think I can forgive George for blowing a slam-dunk quickie with the town trollop Violet Bick. Climb Mount Bedford? You out your mind, Buffalo Guy? Climb and mount in a bed with Violet. Don’t get me wrong, I want George to end up with Mary, but come on. Georgie-porgie gotta tap that but good.
And I have said this before and I will say it again even though it is probably wrong as hell; I still maintain Potterville was much more of a rockin’ happening place then Bedford Falls.
This is called "Since You Asked" for a reason.
(Polite applause)
Oh, and a B.L.T. should not be called a M.B.L.T. because it has mayonaise. Salt, pepper and condiments do not get billing. Period.
(Loud, gushing applause building to a crescendo)
By the way, I once drove a Ford Crescendo. Nice car. Not a Corsica, but nice.
posted by Alex at
11:04 AM
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