We better check it before we wreck it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Heeeeey, New Jerseeeeeeeey
New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey announced his resignation as he revealed that he is gay and that he carried on an adulterous affair with a man. A spokesperson for the New Jersey Gov. office said they prefer to think of it as less of a scandal and more of a queer makeover.

The man McGreevey had the affair with, former Homeland Security Advisor Golan Cipel, brought a whole new meaning to the term: serving under the governor.

There were signs that McGreevey might have been gay; he was a very neat and sharp dresser. In fact, some say he put the natty in Gubernatorial.

McGreevey was an out spoken opponent of gay marriage. That’s not going to help him in the gay dating scene.

Either one
Author Eric Brende has written: “Better Off: Flipping the switch on technology.” In the book he describes how his family lives without TV, radio, a computer, a DVD and they use kerosene lamps at night. Some say Brende is a low-tech genius. Others say he is just really, really cheap.

That explains it
In Arizona, John Kerry and his wife Teresa Heinz got in a huge fight and spent the night in separate hotel rooms. Apparently the campaign is being advised by Hillary Clinton.

Playing Ketchup
According to campaign insiders, John Kerry’s wife, Teresa Heinz is not taking the daily grind very well. In fact, to get her going, they have to turn Heinz upside down and repeatedly smack her bottom.

According to campaign insiders, Teresa Heinz is quite a handful. Let’s just say there is a new word that describes Teresa besides rich, but it sure does rhyme with rich.

Hut, hut, get over yourself
Philadelphia Eagles receiver Terrell Owens accused his former quarterback Jeff Garcia of being gay. Where does a wide receiver get off accusing a quarterback of being gay? The center? Well, he has a case, but not the receiver.

Owens was upset because Garcia mistakenly referred to Owens as a tight end rather than a receiver.