Oh we good like that, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Who thinks of these surveys?
*An L.A. Times survey reveals that 4 out of 10 people urinate in the shower. That means, when asked if they urinate in the shower, 6 out of 10 people lie that they don’t.
Sailors can only take so much
*The Aircraft carrier Ronald Reagan returned to San Diego. But then the sailors heard Dick Cheney and Teresa Heinz cursing, they ran back, horrified, to the sanctity of their ship.
*Teresa Heinz, John Kerry’s wife, told a reporter to shove it. She and Dick Cheney should start a sexual advice hotline together.
You know the John Kerry spin-doctors are going to try and fix this;
“Shove it? Oh no, what Teresa said was “show of it”; yeah, the Democrats are really going to make a show of it this election.”
When asked to comment on Teresa Heinz comment to a reporter to “shove it,” one Kerry political advisor said: “Which way to the bar?”
Speaking of the bar
*Molson and Coors are merging. I hope this doesn’t start a trend of beers merging. If Schlitz and Blatz merged that would make Shatz.
Easy case
*Rapper Murder-C, who is currently in jail awaiting a retrial for murder, has been indicted for attempting to kill a nightclub owner. This shouldn’t be a hard case for the prosecution:
“State your name.”
“Murder-C.”
“I rest, your honor.”
Wicked curve
*Did you see that opening pitch John Kerry threw at the Boston Red Sox game? Just like Kerry, it changed directions four times.
*John Kerry was at the Boston Red Sox game. The nickname for the Boston Red Sox is BoSox. When they asked Kerry if he liked the BoSox Kerry misunderstood and said;
“I’ve never had Botox. I’m just naturally youthful.”
Olympic food
*A Greek news agency says that, just prior to the Olympics, some three-dozen restaurant owners in Athens have been fined for price gouging. That’s not as bad as the restaurants at the 1984 Seoul, Korea Olympic games. They really went to the dogs.
Might want to try that
*A poll reveals that a majority of Iraqi’s are not satisfied with the coalition’s rebuilding of Iraq. Sorry to hear that. Now, I’m not in construction, but I think the rebuilding might go faster if they, oh, I don’t know, stopped kidnapping workers and beheading them.
Who thinks of these surveys?
*An L.A. Times survey reveals that 4 out of 10 people urinate in the shower. That means, when asked if they urinate in the shower, 6 out of 10 people lie that they don’t.
Sailors can only take so much
*The Aircraft carrier Ronald Reagan returned to San Diego. But then the sailors heard Dick Cheney and Teresa Heinz cursing, they ran back, horrified, to the sanctity of their ship.
*Teresa Heinz, John Kerry’s wife, told a reporter to shove it. She and Dick Cheney should start a sexual advice hotline together.
You know the John Kerry spin-doctors are going to try and fix this;
“Shove it? Oh no, what Teresa said was “show of it”; yeah, the Democrats are really going to make a show of it this election.”
When asked to comment on Teresa Heinz comment to a reporter to “shove it,” one Kerry political advisor said: “Which way to the bar?”
Speaking of the bar
*Molson and Coors are merging. I hope this doesn’t start a trend of beers merging. If Schlitz and Blatz merged that would make Shatz.
Easy case
*Rapper Murder-C, who is currently in jail awaiting a retrial for murder, has been indicted for attempting to kill a nightclub owner. This shouldn’t be a hard case for the prosecution:
“State your name.”
“Murder-C.”
“I rest, your honor.”
Wicked curve
*Did you see that opening pitch John Kerry threw at the Boston Red Sox game? Just like Kerry, it changed directions four times.
*John Kerry was at the Boston Red Sox game. The nickname for the Boston Red Sox is BoSox. When they asked Kerry if he liked the BoSox Kerry misunderstood and said;
“I’ve never had Botox. I’m just naturally youthful.”
Olympic food
*A Greek news agency says that, just prior to the Olympics, some three-dozen restaurant owners in Athens have been fined for price gouging. That’s not as bad as the restaurants at the 1984 Seoul, Korea Olympic games. They really went to the dogs.
Might want to try that
*A poll reveals that a majority of Iraqi’s are not satisfied with the coalition’s rebuilding of Iraq. Sorry to hear that. Now, I’m not in construction, but I think the rebuilding might go faster if they, oh, I don’t know, stopped kidnapping workers and beheading them.
posted by Alex at
12:23 PM
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