Monday, February 03, 2003

We are all of that, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A differant .45 with a hole

Did you hear about Phil Spector’s latest hit? It’s number one with a bullet.

Phil Spector, the legendary producer behind numerous 1960s hits, including the Beatles, is being held for murder after a woman was shot. You know which Beatles album Spector produced? I’m not sure, but I’m guessing “Revolver.”

She likes the rehab process . . . and a whole lot of vodka martinis.
Actress Kathleen Turner returned to a rehab center, but she claims she has stayed sober for a year, she just wanted to revisit the rehab process. Yeah right. And I just want to revisit my dentist for the root canal process. Please.

It's up and it's really no good . . .
Indianapolis Colts kicker Mike Vanderjagt criticized quarterback Peyton Manning 0-3 playoff record during a Canadian interview. A field goal kicker criticizing a quarterback? That’s like the mess cook criticizing a special forces fighter.

At the Pro Bowl game, Manning shot back by calling Vanderjagt “an idiot kicker.” That term idiot kicker is a little confusing. Is he a kicker who is an idiot, or does he actually kick idiots?

Look for a new play in the Indianapolis Colts’ playbook next year: “Lob pass to the kicker over the middle, everyone else run off the field, on two, ready, break.”

Manning has a lot of pull with the Colts organization. Don’t be surprised to see Vanderjagt kicking field goals next year while wearing a tutu.

It is widely known that on all football teams, the place kicker is thought of like the equipment manager: he’s on the team, he’s important to the team, but he doesn’t actually play football.

Due to the ugly remarks by Indianapolis Colts kicker Mike Vanderjagt about quarterback Peyton Manning, let’s take a moment to reflect on what Detroit Lions lineman great Alex Karras said on why he hates kickers;

“We knock our brains out for sixty minutes, and then this little guy comes and yells; “I keek touchdown, I keek touchdown.”

A kicker criticizing their all pro quarterback? Why not just come right out and announce you want to be traded to a bad team for a case of beer?

I think I can speak for all current and former position football players, the guys in the trenches, when I say to Indianapolis Colts kicker Mike Vanderjagt; “Shut up and do your little cute Rockettes/ballet kick, you no-contact-having weasel.”

LeBron, LeBron likes his money, part 2
Ohio High School basketball phenom LeBron James was ruled ineligible for accepting gifts of two sports jerseys. Sadly, LeBron misunderstood when he was told to only take bribes he could launder.