Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Check it out, funk soul Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Iraq's parliament snubbed the United Nations by voting unanimously against cooperating with a Security Council resolution on disarming Baghdad. In terms of actual importance, the Iraqi parliament ranks somewhere between Madonna’s acting coach and Al Gore’s publicist.

The trial of Princess Diana’s butler just keeps getting uglier and uglier. There are allegations of a sex scandal, lies, stealing and a cover-up. This thing is just one or two cigars away from being the Clinton administration.

Three former fraternity brothers were accused of manipulating a bet that paid $3 million at the Breeders' Cup last month. Authorities became suspicious when they started saluting each other with finger flicks to the nose while Ragtime music playing in the background.

After seemingly endless rumors, Jennifer Lopez is engaged to Ben Affleck. They plan on a small wedding. J. Lo and Ben will exchange wedding vows as the wedding party and P. Diddy exchange gunfire. The hard part for the Maid of Honor? Trying to figure out where the wedding dress train ends and J. Lo's butt begins.