Friday, June 01, 2018

Spread it like peanut butter jelly, do it like I owe you some money, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Howard Cosell:

"Roseanne and Cosby will go down as two of the greatest people in entertainment, isn't that right, OJ and Bruce?" 


“Well, at least we’re tied with them in the series 1-1.”

Cleveland Cavalier J.R. Smith following the game. 

Cleveland lost to the Warriors when, at the end, J.R. Smith did not know the score and dribbled instead of shooting. Turns out Cavaliers is a French word for Art History Major.

We are now in a diplomatic war with Canada. That is like getting in a fist fight with a Walmart greeter.

Kanye West had a listening party for his new album in Wyoming. It was the perfect occasion for all those Wyoming rap fans who love Trump. All seven of them.

Top shows in 1989, "Roseanne" and "The Cosby Show." Just edging out "OJ Simpson: Marriage Counselor" and "Bruce Jenner's Dating Tips."

It is #NationalDonutDay . We need a National Donut Day like Roseanne Barr needs a National Donut Day.

Since you asked:

As great as the documentary on Jane Goodall, “Jane” was, it just about broke my heart. No. It did break my heart. 

One of the chimps was a doting mother named Flo. Flo had a bulbous nose, ragged ears and a heart as big as she was. She had a boy who worshiped her named Flint. Yes, Flint was spoiled, and yes, Flo should have been tougher on him and cut the apron strings. But she didn’t. Flo carried Flint around like he was a baby when he was a teenager. 

One day poor old Flo’s big heart gave out as she was crossing a river and she just died peacefully on the side of the river bank. Flint kept poking her to get her to play with him. Finally, after hours, Flint gave up. 

Flint lost the will to eat and he lost the will to live. And Flint was dead three weeks later.

The exact same thing happened to our poor sweet labrador Wrigley after our beloved labrador Kasey died. Only it took Wrigley an entire year to succumb from grief. 

Wrigley and Kasey, we love you and think about you every day.

Wrigley Telluride Kaseberg, his own self. 

Kasey-Bear right before she passed


My opinion on Samantha Bee is she just made a terrible decision. It was a bad joke and it accomplished the opposite of what she wanted: it made people sympathize with Ivanka Trump. Not an easy thing to do these days.

Something has to be tragically flawed with that show's editing process for someone to even, A, float the idea of saying the C-word and then, B, nobody shooting it down as an incredibly stupid idea. This seems to indicate the star's ego does not have anyone around with a spine. 

In Sam-B’s defense, I do think the C-word is a different when used by a woman on a woman. There is a double-standard. Men cannot say the C-word.

While I am a fan of Samantha Bee and think she is smart, I am not a fan of her show. It boils down to her delivery. Sam-B is so earnest and intense she leans forward at her waist in an “In your face” stance giving me a sense that I want to back away. 

Samantha’s need to get in the viewers face and air her intensity led directly to her horrible choice of the C-word. The B-word would have been just as effective without any problems. 

No doubt ABC did a gutsy thing yanking a top ranked show in "Roseanne," but before we nominate them for the Nobel Peace Prize, let's remember a couple things. 

First, the ratings, while still high, are down 23% and falling. They wanted to attract Trump's followers while still handing out heavy-handed Hollywood liberal morals. You cannot have it both ways.

Second, the brains behind the reboot, Whitney Cummings, bailed a month before Roseanne's rant. Whitney knew the crazy-woman's-smeared-feces writing was on the wall. 

Third, and most importantly, Roseanne Barr was always going to be Roseanne Barr. Expecting lightening to hit that brain-damaged, racist psycho twice was asking way too much. This is a woman who, when left to her own devices, thinks it is a good idea to sing the National Anthem off key and spit on the ground afterward. 

And bake people cookies dressed like Hitler.