An anti-Putin Ukrainian journalist, Arkady Babchenko, thought to be assassinated, turned up alive. 

So there is still hope Melania Trump could turn up.

In South Africa, the world's oldest man, 114-year-old Fredie Blom, wants to quit smoking. Well, not quit completely, he is still going to smoke after sex.



Samantha Bee is under fire for calling Ivanka Trump a "Feckless C*nt." Personally, I would have gone with either Trammeled Clam, Uncouth Snooch or Lackadaisical Boner-Garage. 

Or Moribund Poon-tang.