Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Sabes, sabes, sabes, sabes, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

And you thought Huckabee didn’t know when to quit?
Ralph Nader has joined the presidential race, or as democrats are calling the 71-year-old McCain and the 73-year-old Nader: “Grumpy Old Men III.”

Good pick
Fidel Castro’s brother, Raul Castro has taken over in Cuba. He is a much better choice than Fidel’s other brother, Tito.

Go back to recalling Pintos, Ralph
Ralph Nader is launching a third party presidential campaign. I don’t know what the Nader third party is going to be called but I vote for the “Please Go Away You Boring Loser” party.

Is it just me or does Ralph Nader look like the guy who taught European Literature at a City College?

Ralph Nader is launching a third party presidential campaign. Or as John McCain calls the 73 year-old Nader: a young whipper snapper.

Is it just me or does Ralph Nader look like the high school administrator who smokes a pipe?

Is it just me or does Ralph Nader look like that grumpy guy behind the cash register at a small town hardware store telling you “We don’t carry that part anymore”?

Is it just me or does Ralph Nader look like the guy in the cardigan sweater sitting in his garage painting lead soldiers?

Is it just me or does Ralph Nader look like a file clerk down at city hall?

Not kidding around
Hillary Clinton is getting ugly in Texas attacking Barack Obama. Hillary is ready to do battle today she wore her Under Armor pants suit.

Oh, that is uncalled for
Hillary Clinton is getting ugly in Texas. She compared Barack Obama to President Bush. And if the rumors are true, if there is one candidate who knows about Bush, it’s Hillary.

Bad habits rubbing off
Tiger Woods beat Stewart Cink in the Accenture Match Play tournament. Tiger Woods got caught live saying some choice words after hitting a bad shot. Apparently Tiger played a round or two with Jane Fonda.

No kidding
Fantasy Baseball leagues are getting ready for the baseball season; now, I don’t want to say Fantasy Baseball players are nerds, but Viagra will never sponsor a Fantasy Baseball League because imaginary women don’t care about erectile dysfunction.

The big 27, and I don’t mean how many men she’s slept with in February
A belated Happy 27th Birthday to Paris Hilton. Paris celebrated her usual way by playing Pin the tail on the tail.

So embarrassing
Did you see the clip of President Bush dancing in Africa? Oh, man, this guy put us clumsy white guys back ten years.

And here I thought the term Lame Duck President was an expression. Bush actually dances like a lame duck.

Since you asked;
On the cover article of “Time” magazine, Joel Stein, invited George Clooney over to his house for dinner and was amazed to report that handsome George was the perfect dinner guest. Wow, who would have guessed that being a rich, famous and handsome movie star could actually be fun?

I’m an awesome dinner guest: I always bring a good wine, in fact, better than I usually drink, I have at least two topical jokes ready, a classic, but non-offensive regular joke, and at least one or two anecdotes in my pocket ready to fling if the conversation drags.

I like to drink the wine but I never get drunk – at other people’s houses. If the food is great, I gush over it, if it is just OK, I am complimentary, and if it sucks, I don’t say anything. And I don’t stay too late. Sometimes I offer to do the dishes but I think everyone knows I don’t really mean it.

So why aren’t I on the cover of “Time”? Hell, I even frequently guest barbeque an appetizer like my marinated shrimp or beef and green onion skewers or my grilled corn salsa. You try and grill on someone else’s grill. You think trying to get another person’s dog to behave is hard?