Wednesday, May 16, 2018

North Korea is threatening to cancel the summit with Donald Trump. You know what this means? Trump may have to pull out the Kim Jong Un Pee-Pee tape.

It should not be surprising North Korea would dog us. You are what you eat.

Big storm hitting the East. In Washington, it blew Rudy Giuliani into a charm school.

Vladimir Putin was the first to cross a two-billion dollar bridge from Russia to Crimea, a place Russia militarily "annexed" in 2014. Under Putin, even Russia's history is abridged.

For the 14th time in ten years, a severed foot in a shoe has washed up on a Vancouver beach. When it comes to knowing who the victims are, the police are stumped.

And yes, they had to call a toe truck.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you're in San Diego
Who cares where Carmen is too? 


Drunk Best Man tells sordid story of a nightmare girlfriend he was told the groom had. Turns out she's the Maid of Honor.  #WeddingFail

A year ago, a group of Florida parents were furious to see a video of their children twerking and lap-dancing in class. Now they're fine. It being Florida, they added pole-dancing to the twerking and lap-dancing.

Since you asked:

Based on Nathan Lane’s portrayal of Roy Cohn in "Angels In America," Frank Rich wrote an article in “New York” magazine on Cohn. Cohn is best known as the pit bull lawyer for the most reviled man in Congress, Joe McCarthy. 

Cohn was also Donald Trump’s lawyer who launched Trump into the public eye in New York. Someone describes Cohn as perhaps the worst human being who ever lived.

Quite a statement. 

Cohn viciously attacked innocent people for his own gain. He enjoyed destroying families and careers. He despised gay people and persecuted them when he was a closeted gay man. Roy Cohn was beyond the capability of the word hypocrite to stretch to define him. 

Trump learned well from Cohn that you attack people with litigation, ruin their lives, insult them, bully them and then, if confronted about your misdeeds, lie and then lie about your lying. 

You lie so much and so hard, honest people are not able to comprehend that much lying and assume you're telling the truth.

Even annoying occurrences can lead to cute stories.

So I get a wire transfer to my checking account at about 1:30 AM. The next morning, I head to the gas station to get some gas. The pump tells me to see the cashier. The cashier, a perfectly nice young man, informs me my card was not accepted.

Already low on gas, I zip on over to my bank. The teller - do they still call them that? - informs me after a wire transfer, they have to activate the money in the account. How would I know this? Fine.

So I zip back to the gas station. Again the card is turned down. This time I assured him I was told the bank activated it. The young guy tries it three more times. No good. 

Drive back to the bank. On fumes. The bank dude tells me it must be the gas station’s foul-up. This time I get cash. 

Now I am back to the gas station for the third time. When I give the young guy $20, with a straight face, he looks up and said, 

“Sorry, it is not accepting your cash.”

We exchange high fives and I tell him he is lucky there is a counter between us or I would have given him a hug.

Now I head to the grocery story, among my items are my beloved two-pack of Hostess Ding Dongs. Also a bottle of wine. The wine bottle rolls over on the Ding Dongs crushing them to dust. (Nobody wants crushed Ding Dongs)  The cashier tells me to replace them on the way out.  

As I was bagging my stuff, my wonderful cashier smiled at me and kindly said, 

“Before you leave, don’t forget to grab your Ding Dongs.”