Saturday, January 27, 2018

A bar in New York will kick you out if you use the word “literally.” It’s called Kardashian-proofing the bar.

And, if you over-pronounce it with an “itch” in literally, they will litcherally kick you in the ass.




New England Patriot, Rob Gronkowski, was at practice following concussion testing. It was not encouraging, however, when, after practice, Gronk asked the blocking dummy for her phone number.






Ivanka Trump has come out with a line of convertible jewelry. Her necklace converts from a rip-off to a felony.

Ivanka Trump has come out with a line of convertible jewelry. Her bracelet converts from overpriced to larceny.

Ivanka Trump has come out with a line of convertible jewelry. Her bracelet converts from a Nambia to a Covfefe.




The Baltimore Ravens’ first round draft pick, Marlon Humphrey, was arrested for robbery. That is an unfortunate first strike, because, in the NFL, you only get 32 strikes.


Rumor has it Donald Trump is having an affair. My sources say the woman’s name rhymes with:

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