An Uber driver claims a drunk Tampa Bay Bucs, Jameis Winston, grabbed her crotch. In his defense, Winston claims he was just doing a Donald Trump impression.



A Navy pilot is in trouble for smoke-drawing a penis in the sky. Or so said a member of the joint penal staff. 

(See? Member, penal, joint and staff are all dick nicknames) 



An Uber driver claims a drunk Tampa Bay Bucs, Jameis Winston, grabbed her crotch. Well, at least this time he did not get the crabs.


A search is underway for a missing Argentine submarine. The sub has not been seen since it stopped into port to be fitted with a sunroof.


The term for this increase in sexual assault is called the Harvey Effect. Do not confuse this with the Weinstein Effect. That is the need for an actress to take a Silkwood shower.


A Navy pilot is accused of drawing a penis in the sky. Or as the Navy calls that, “The Cosby Maneuver.” 


An Uber driver claims a drunk Tampa Bay Bucs, Jameis Winston, grabbed her crotch. In his defense, Winston claims he was just directing her to the Pussycat Lounge. 


Former White House Communications Director, Anthony Scaramucci, is in talks with publishers for a book deal on his ten days before getting fired. The working title is “The Mooch Screwed the Pooch.” 


“People” has come out with their World’s Sexiest Men issue and I am proud to say I am in it. I am right in between Steve Bannon and Sarah Huckabee Sanders.


Sen. Al Franken admitted he groped a female disc jockey in 2006. But they did not have sex. In other words, Al kissed her, but he did not put his Franken.



Hunter Day, a 22-year-old Oklahoma teacher, was charged with having sex with a male student. School authorities became suspicious about Hunter Day when her student told his friends he was going to get the Day off.



It is the third anniversary of when a Delta flight from Cleveland to New York took off with just two passengers. And yet the flight attendant was somehow able to hit both of them in the knee with the beverage cart.


Former White House Communications Director, Anthony Scaramucci, is in talks with publishers for a book deal on his ten days before getting fired. He lasted ten days.  He should be looking for a pamphlet deal. 



Former White House Communications Director, Anthony Scaramucci, is in talks with publishers for a book deal on his ten days before getting fired.  The working title: “The Mooch Smooched Trump’s Caboose And Was Still Let Loose.” 

Other Scaramucci book title ideas:

“Dude, Where’s My Career?”

“Putting the Scary In Scaramucci for 240 Hours.”