Steven Seagal Runs Like a Girl
Here Steven demonstrates how to run like a drunk debutante who just has a spider land on her
I've got my eye on you, Jayqwellen, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. All men over 50 are wearing their zipper at half-staff.
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. Although many thought 69 would be the death of him.
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. The man was responsible for more blown-out male elbows than the curve ball.
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. With all the Viagra that guy has taken, good luck closing the coffin lid. (13 hours ahead of GG, but an obvious joke all the same)
Hugh Hefner will be buried next to Marilyn Monroe. Their corner of the crypt will be sponsored by Jergen’s lotion.
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. Per Hef’s wishes, his ashes will be pressed into a “Playboy” magazine and hidden under a mattress.
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Kylie Jenner is pregnant with Travis Scott’s baby. When asked if they plan to wed, Kylie said, “I hardly know the guy. What kind of girl do you think I am?”
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The winner of the Senate primary in Alabama, Roy Moore, once compared homosexuality with having sex with a cow. Apparently, Moore had experienced one of them.
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Rumor has it Peyton Manning is considering running for Senate for Tennessee. Although it would be awkward for his Tennessee constituents when Manning repeatedly yells “Omaha.”
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Our intelligence claims morale inside the Taliban is extremely low. Looks like somebody needs a Taco Tuesday and a Luau Friday.
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Hugh Hefner passed at 91. Hef will be remembered for changing our lexicon. He gave us the terms fold-out and Playmate. He brought new meaning to bunnies and “Mom, don’t come in here, I’m busy.”
Since you asked:
Why does Donald Trump have such an angry Lady Boner for the NFL?
In 1984, Trump tried to low-ball the Dallas Cowboys, but the NFL owners smelled a rat and wanted nothing to do with him. The hurt and spurned Trump went on to predict whoever buys the Cowboys would regret it. (It turned out to be Jerry Jones in 1989 and it is now the highest valued sports team)
As chronicled in ESPN’s “30 For 30” series titled “Small Potatoes. Who Killed the USFL,” Trump saw the USFL as his way to back-door into the NFL. Trump proved the NFL owners right by not only over-spending and destroying the New Jersey Generals, but by insisting the league move from the profitable Spring to the NFL-killing Fall, effectively destroying the league.
Just over a year ago, Trump was turned down again by the NFL in a weak attempt to buy the Buffalo Bills.
P.S. Angry Lady Boner is my new all-female heavy metal band.
I've got my eye on you, Jayqwellen, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Hef, the man who put more wood in Hollywood than Viagra
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. All men over 50 are wearing their zipper at half-staff.
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. Although many thought 69 would be the death of him.
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. The man was responsible for more blown-out male elbows than the curve ball.
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. With all the Viagra that guy has taken, good luck closing the coffin lid. (13 hours ahead of GG, but an obvious joke all the same)
Hugh Hefner will be buried next to Marilyn Monroe. Their corner of the crypt will be sponsored by Jergen’s lotion.
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. Per Hef’s wishes, his ashes will be pressed into a “Playboy” magazine and hidden under a mattress.
****
Kylie Jenner is pregnant with Travis Scott’s baby. When asked if they plan to wed, Kylie said, “I hardly know the guy. What kind of girl do you think I am?”
****
The winner of the Senate primary in Alabama, Roy Moore, once compared homosexuality with having sex with a cow. Apparently, Moore had experienced one of them.
****
Rumor has it Peyton Manning is considering running for Senate for Tennessee. Although it would be awkward for his Tennessee constituents when Manning repeatedly yells “Omaha.”
****
Our intelligence claims morale inside the Taliban is extremely low. Looks like somebody needs a Taco Tuesday and a Luau Friday.
****
Hugh Hefner passed at 91. Hef will be remembered for changing our lexicon. He gave us the terms fold-out and Playmate. He brought new meaning to bunnies and “Mom, don’t come in here, I’m busy.”
Since you asked:
Why does Donald Trump have such an angry Lady Boner for the NFL?
In 1984, Trump tried to low-ball the Dallas Cowboys, but the NFL owners smelled a rat and wanted nothing to do with him. The hurt and spurned Trump went on to predict whoever buys the Cowboys would regret it. (It turned out to be Jerry Jones in 1989 and it is now the highest valued sports team)
As chronicled in ESPN’s “30 For 30” series titled “Small Potatoes. Who Killed the USFL,” Trump saw the USFL as his way to back-door into the NFL. Trump proved the NFL owners right by not only over-spending and destroying the New Jersey Generals, but by insisting the league move from the profitable Spring to the NFL-killing Fall, effectively destroying the league.
Just over a year ago, Trump was turned down again by the NFL in a weak attempt to buy the Buffalo Bills.
P.S. Angry Lady Boner is my new all-female heavy metal band.
posted by Alex at
10:30 AM
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