Saturday, September 23, 2017

Stir it up, little darlin', stir it up, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Kylie Jenner is pregnant. Wow. The ratings for “Life of Kylie” must be worse than we thought.

Kylie Jenner is pregnant with rapper Travis Scott. When asked what it was like to be expecting with Kylie, Travis said, “What?  She told me she was Kendall.” 

In Colo, a woman jogger dubbed “The Mad Pooper” who has been defecating on lawns, has been offered a year’s supply of Charmin toilet paper if she turns herself in. OK, Imodium and Midol, time to step up too.

In Colo, a woman jogger dubbed “The Mad Pooper” who has been terrorizing a neighborhood by defecating on lawns. Police hope someone turns her in, but, so far, there have been no stool pigeons.

In Colorado, a woman dubbed “The Mad Pooper” has been defecting on people’s lawns. For the love of god, get some help, Kris Jenner. 

Kylie Jenner is pregnant with a girl and they’re already choosing K-names. Some of the names they’ve ruled out are Kotex. Kombucha. Khlamydia and Kim Jong Jenner. 

There are rumors the NFL is discussing forcing the Chargers to move back to San Diego. “No, you can’t do that, we just got them,” said nobody in Los Angeles.

Kris Jenner is furious at the press for not respecting her daughter, Kylie’s pregnancy privacy. Nothing pulls on the heartstrings harder than a mom, who sold her children’s souls for a reality show, demanding privacy.

Since you asked:

So people ask me, why? Why so hard on the poor Kylie Jenner? 

Let’s start out with above all, she is a Kartrashian. And the Kartrashians, thanks to patriarch Robert, gave us the worst murderer set free ever in his good friend, OJ, probable father of Khloe. 

Using that historical fiasco to their advantage, Kim launches the barely-famous, talentless and moderately pretty fat-ass lottery ticket: the sex tape with a rapper. 

In doing so it launched "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," the Kartrashians lit the fuse on our national burning house of rampant entitlement. 

In short, most things wrong with this country can directly be traced back to a Jennwhore/Kartrashian. Therefore, even with the simple-minded Kylie, it is impossible to go too hard on a Jennwhore/Kartrashian.