Friday, September 22, 2017

The Greatest Show On The Interwebbernet, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

(Oh, that is so sad) 



There was a crazy machete-wielding woman outside of the Kardashian’s LA store, Dash. Then she screamed, “The Kardashians will be executed,” and people said, “Wait, let’s hear her out.” 

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We have had three huge hurricanes, a major earthquake in Mexico and now it snowed on the last day of summer in Tahoe, CA. You get the feeling if Mother Nature isn’t mad at us, she is at least very disappointed. 

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Kim Jong Un called Donald Trump a frightened dog. Here’s my question: in North Korea, where the word dog is synonymous with a burrito, is there any dog that isn’t frightened?

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Donald Trump called Kim Jong Un Rocket Man and Kim Jong Un called Trump a frightened dog. Stop fighting, girls, you’re both pretty.

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Kim Jong Un called Donald Trump a dotard. Trump responded by countering that Kim Jong Un would be the biggest covfefe in all of Nambia.

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Firefighters in Worms, Germany were called to a gym to help free a man whose penis was stuck in a five-pound weight. Can you believe that story? The name of the town is Worms? Was the name Maggots already taken?

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Kim Jong Un called Donald Trump a scared dog and Donald Trump called Kim Jong Un Rocket Man. Girls, please, stop fighting, you’re both pretty. 

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Colorado police are searching for the woman known as “The Mad Pooper” who has been defecating on home’s sidewalks. They have formed a special task force: The Poo Fighters.

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Firefighters in Worms, Germany were called to a gym to help a man whose penis was stuck in a five-pound weight. Sadly, because it was Germany, nobody had anything funny to say about it.


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Firefighters in Worms, Germany were called to a gym to help free a man whose penis was stuck in a five-pound weight. And you don’t even want to know what happened to the missing ten-pound dumbbell. 


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Colorado police are searching for the woman known as “The Mad Pooper” who has been defecating on people’s sidewalks. Police are hoping a witness will help pinch the culprit.


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Firefighters in Worms, Germany were called to a gym to help free a man whose penis was stuck in a weight. The man was in a lot of pain. The weight was kilo’ing him.


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At the Emmys, TV actress Shailene Woodley bragged on TV about not owning a TV. That would be like winning the Pulitzer Prize and bragging about not reading.


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It is the two-year anniversary of when an India road crew killed a napping man by paving over him. Two years and there is still no concrete evidence. 




Since you asked:



Here is Your Pal, Lex’s, Late Night Talk Show Review

Stephen Colbert. While I thought Stephen Colbert was painting himself into a corner with his Anti-Trump routines, it brought his ratings way back. (With a lot of help from Trump) His huge talent was evident during his recent Emmy host. Colbert is the real deal. Not as much a fan of his band, though. 

Jimmy Fallon. Nobody is a bigger fan of Jimmy Fallon than me. His comedy talent, singing, characters, impersonations are out the roof. (The Roots are a National gem) Which makes it seem more and more like Jimmy is sleepwalking. (Why do I think it is tied to his finger problems?) And his interviews have not gotten any less cloying. The saving grace is you believe the fawning Fallon really is that great of a guy and he is being honest. But nobody loves that many people. However, Jay Leno’s subbing in on the monologue is one of their best bits. But they clearly have a weak link in their writing staff as witnessed by their usually tepid monologue.

Jimmy Kimmel. Wow, what a turnaround in my book. While I tended to write him off as a radio guy and a mean-spirited shock-jock/Howard Stern type and not a stand-up comedian, his touching, emotional tribute to Don Rickles changed my opinion about his personality. And then it changed forever with his moving story about his son, Billy, and it made me a fan for life. And Jimmy’s stance on health care, as a result, has been impressive. And anyone who barbecues all the time and throws great parties is jake in my mind. 


Seth Meyers. Another keen talent. You can tell he does a lion share of the writing on his really great “A Closer Look” almost nightly segment. And his writers might be the best. Especially Jenny and Amber. The “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell” is the best bit on late night by far, besides Leno stepping in on the monologue with Fallon. Did I mention that is great? Well, it is.

James Corden. I take it back. The best bit on all of late night  - and maybe all of TV - is “Carpool Karaoke.” Whether Stevie Wonder, Elton John or the Foo Fighters, it is hard to pick a best one. And Corden’s bass player, Hagar Ben-Ari, is the most enigmatically hot women anywhere. But that is where it ends for me with Corden. He seems like a snotty phony and there is evidence of that with his being mean/short to fans while sucking up to guests. 

Carson Daly, Trevor Noah and Samantha Bee are all truly good, smart, funny and talented, but off the radar and I only need to see their notable clips, and not their entire show. And Carson Daly does not really have any of those. (How is he still on the air?) 

Bill Maher is a different HBO panel-discussion animal. Although he is a smug jerk, I like his show a lot. Informative, thought-provoking and funny, but in that order.


So that sums it up. Leno and Letterman were the Princes after the King, Carson. But there has never been more cumulative talent at late night than now when you add up all four or five.