Friday, July 21, 2017

Is it just me, or does Anthony look like Courtney Cox after transitioning to a man?

Scarimucci, Scaramucci can you do the fandango, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers? 

It is National Junk Food Day. We need a National Junk Food day like Chris Christie needs to close something. 

"Sean Spicer" resigned as White House spokesperson. Anthony Scaramucci is his replacement. Scaramucci is an Italian word that means "I don't want this job."

New White House spokesperson, Anthony Scaramucci, said is he has seen Donald Trump throw a football through a tire, sink free throws and three-foot putts. Does everyone else feel as reassured as I do?

New White House spokesperson, Antony Scaramucci, said is he has seen Donald Trump throw a football through a tire, sink free throws and three-foot putts. And he struck out the Whammer in three pitches. Oh, wait, that was “The Natural.” 

"Sean Spicer" resigned as White House spokesperson. Anthony Scaramucci is his replacement. We think they said Scaramucci is Spicer’s replacement. It was hard to hear over Spicer’s screaming for joy.

Remember Minn. dentist, Walter Palmer, who killed beloved lion, Cecil, on safari? One year ago, he had his boat stolen. He has since replace it with the Douche Bagger II. 

The owner of the OJ chase scene Ford White Bronco stands to make a huge profit now that OJ is getting out. Like OJ, he will make a killing. 

The owner of the Nevada Bunny Ranch brothel, Dennis Hof, has offered OJ Simpson a job as a greeter, but his prostitutes have threatened to quit if OJ takes it. That has to hurt when women say, “I’ll have sex with ten guys, but working with OJ? No way.” 

Kevin Hart is laughing off rumors he cheated on his pregnant wife. Glad he says he did not do that, it would take a pretty small man to cheat on a pregnant wife.

OJ Simpson will be free in October and he is moving to Florida. When OJ moves to Florida, the psycho factor of Florida will go down. And OJ is a double-murderer. 

Since you asked:

There are some smells in life that permeate your memory. 

The spilled beer and distant cigar and cigarette smoke mixed with the taste of caramel popcorn and hot dogs with mustard at Wrigley Field.

The smoke from charcoal burning in a Webber mixed with the gunpowder of cheap fireworks and sparklers on a humid Fourth of July night.

Ocean mixed with grilled briny and buttery lobsters and hot, homemade flour tortillas at a beach restaurant in Rosarito, Mexico.

The egg roll scent of a Chinese restaurant.

The hardware store. The sporting goods store. 

Coppertone suntan lotion, chlorine pool water with cheeseburgers and onions grilling nearby at my grandmother's Audubon club Louisville pool. 

A brand new pair of Adidas on Christmas morning. 

The French Bakery in the morning just a block up Elm Street from my house.

A wet, happy dog.

Hot chocolate on a frozen night at the skating rink.

The freshly cut grass of a football field on a crisp Fall morning.

Grilled hot dogs, cold watermelon and a baseball mitt at a picnic. 

What we are watching with Donald J. Trump is a living version of the assassination of JFK.

People can downplay the instincts and cognitive ability of five-year-old children all they want, the fact is I had strong impressions and insights about the assassination of John F. Kennedy when I was a 5-year-old child

When you’re five, most of your world is your mother, and my mother loved John F. Kennedy in the purest sense. So I strongly felt her grief and depression. And then I sensed the grief and depression outside of our house. Namely at kindergarten. 

Democrat or Republican, people were proud of John F. Kennedy. He looked like we thought our country was: young, handsome, smart, witty and a brave war hero. He was the perfect leader to take us into space. My dad was a republican and he felt that way too. We were so hopeful. 

So when this personification of our country was shot in the head in a Ford by a stupid piece of crazy, smirking human trash, it was too much to bare. It was simply too unfair. It was also embarrassing that such a loser could kill our president. That is why we invented so many conspiracies.

Donald Trump is the living version of the same thing. How can the one job that symbolizes the best we have to offer be held by such a clownish, bullying, dense, sexist, oafish, classless buffoon?

And utterly, utterly humorless. It is embarrassing. 

Something tells me this is the calm before the storm for Trump. And with Spicer, a big ol' rat just jumped off the ship.