North Korea is furious about a joke John McCain made calling Kim Jong Un “The crazy fat kid…” John, please. It is not the crazy fat kid. It is called Alternative- Sanity, Body- Density- Rich.

You know what would be a story? North Korea not being furious about something.



Russia’s Vladimir Putin called US election meddling accusations lies. And then Putin had the US election meddling accusations poisoned.



A survey shows 3/4 of Russians believe their government is corrupt. The other 1/4 was poisoned to death.




Ivanka Trump will take an official government position as a presidential advisor. And Eric Trump will take an official position as White House Head Bro of Jaegermeister Blasts.



Today is “National Doctors Day.” It’s like “Groundhog Day,” but when a rubber glove pops into a hole.



Rumor has it that Donald Trump declined throwing out the first pitch at the Nationals game because his throwing is not impressive. Let’s put it this way, Trump’s throws are more awkward than his hugs with Eric.


Rumor has it that Donald Trump declined throwing out the first pitch at the Nationals game because his throwing is not impressive. In fact, when Trump throws, even that thing on his head snickers.