Sunday, March 12, 2017

For the first time ever, Northwestern’s basketball team is in the NCAA Tournament. Known for its academics rather than basketball, Northwestern will have to work on its trash talking. “Say there, athletic combatant, your kinetic skills are lugubrious at best,” will not cut it.

Walk a mile in a man's shoes and he will say, "Hey, give me my damn shoes back." And then he will spray them with Febreze.