Friday, February 03, 2017

A survey claims Sunday morning at 9:00 AM is when most couples have sex. And at 9:02, most guys say they’re sorry. 

In a meeting about black history month, President Trump spoke of Frederick Douglass - who died in 1895 - as if he was still alive. When informed Douglass was dead, Trump said, “He didn’t look good the last time I saw him.” 

President Trump insulted Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “Celebrity Apprentice” ratings. Trump said Frederick Douglass would make a better host. 

Uber CEO, Travis Kalanick, quit President Trump’s advisory council. The most embarrassing part? After Travis quit, he couldn’t get a ride home. 

Donald Trump’s physician reveals Trump takes Propecia, a hair-growth drug that causes impotence. Which is why Melania takes Chardonnay. 

The Navy Seal who shot Osama bin Laden has a book coming out. Here’s the weird part: the book is: “Vegan Baking For Idiots.” 

A 79-year-old British man claims he slept with 2,084 women. Or as Warren Beatty calls him: a virgin. ‘

Nordstrom has dropped Ivanka Trump’s clothing line. In more bad Trump news, Eric has lost his endorsement deal with Summer’s Eve feminine cleansing wash. 

Saints coach Sean Payton says he is going to add a "simple scrambler" to the locker room to keep players off social media before games. If only Baylor could do that to keep players off coeds. 

Since you asked:

This is my favorite story that indicates the workings of Donald Trump’s fragile ego.

Graydon Carter, as the editor of “Spy,” took to calling Trump a “Short-fingered vulgarian.” 

Not only did Trump know about this, it upset him greatly. It upset him to the point that, from time to time, Trump would send Graydon an article about one of his great accomplishments and with it an outline of his hand on a piece of paper, drawn with a Sharpie, with a comment like, 

“See? Not so short, huh?” 

You think that is amazing? The most amazing part is yet to come: the hand and fingers Trump outlined were amazingly short and stubby.