Monday, January 30, 2017


This is me after my first cup of coffee after three days without...

Like I always say, juck 'em if they can't take a foke, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Political posts on Facebook are getting nastily contentious. It is so bad, people are starting to long for pictures of kale, quinoa and tofu vegan meals. 

Tiger Woods missed the cut at the Farmers Open in La Jolla, CA. Thought it was mean when he was leaving and they sang, “You’re out Farmers, bum bah bum bum bum bum bum.” 

Since you asked:

“Ginspiration Point” (good name) has been named the winner of the “Santa Barbara Drink Contest” and will be on the menu at Alcazar Tapas Bar. 

Bull shit. 

It is a foo-foo drink of gin, egg white and chartreuse. 

The real Santa Barbara cocktail would be a heavy dose of vodka - a nod to the stiff drinks at Joe’s -  ice, fresh orange juice - a nod to the abundance of citrus trees in the hills and the now-shuttered restaurants, La Paloma and Esau’s  - and float a quick dash of cranberry - as an homage to their sunsets - and a splash of soda - to the effervescence that is life in Santa Barbara. 

Poured into a large frozen martini glass. Squeeze of lime. Dusting of salt on the rim, served with a eucalyptus leaf on the side. 

What do we call this glorious concoction? 

St. Babs. 

(High-fiving a million angels)

(check to see if Bill Snake is reading. Do remember your Fuzzy Navels?) 

As someone who has mentioned ad nausea I have attended a Super Bowl media day as a member of the media, let me sum it up for you:

Member of the press: 

“How can I get you to say something controversial about your opponent so I can sell my story?”

Super Bowl player:

“You can’t because my coach will make my life a living hell if I do, so I am going to say something as bland as possible. And I mean Bill Belichick bland.”