Monday, January 23, 2017

White House press secretary, Sean Spicer, said the Inauguration crowd was the biggest one ever.  Spicer added Trump’s first 100 days were also a huge success. #MathAintHisThang.

One year ago, Mike Tyson listed his Las Vegas mansion on the market and it sold right away. Because Mike said it was, “Lishted to shell.” 

In Florida, the maid of honor at a wedding guzzled a bottle of whisky, stole the best man’s car, attacked paramedics and exposed herself to police. But at 95, Betty White can celebrate her birthday anyway she wants.

Donald Trump’s counselor, Kellyanne Conway, said Sean Spicer used alternative facts. Using alternative facts, congratulations to the Green Bay Packers on beating the Atlanta Falcons.

Initial Super Bowl ticket sales are slow. Don’t worry, though, if Lady Gaga bows out at half, Toby Keith will fill in.

Donald Trump was just told by millions of marching women they can’t stand him. Suddenly my prom date leaving with the drummer doesn’t seem so bad.