Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Remember, folks, pooping is your friend. It makes you feel good in the end, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Steroid cheat, Jose Canseco, tweeted that the baseball Hall of Fame was hypocritical for not allowing all steroid cheats. Something about this seems self-serving, but I can’t put Jose’s finger on it.

Michelle Obama posted a video of her last walk of the White House with her two dogs, Sunny and Bo. The good news is Sunny did not bite anyone. The bad news is that Bo took a golden shower on the rug.

It turns out porn videos are being hidden inside regular YouTube videos. Remember Psy’s “Gangnam Style”? It’s now gang-bang style. 

A shark in Australia gave birth without a father. This is the first known birth without a father since Kris Jenner had Kylie and Kendall.

It’s the third anniversary of when New York police found and arm and two legs in the East River. As to the identity of the victim, the police are still stumped. 

A shark in Australia gave birth without a father. Or so claims a guilty-looking male dolphin in the tank next to it.  

Singer Alanis Moresette’s manager pled guilty of stealing $4.8 million. Gosh, I hope this doesn’t make Alanis’s songs about men bitter.

Since you asked:

Inspired by Tennessee's naming a sewage plant after Lane Kiffin, I propose San Diego rename the Point Loma Wastewater Plant after Dean Spanos. 

So I was looking at a slideshow on Twitter identifying different types/shapes of stool and what they mean for your health. When suddenly the slideshow changed, without telling me, into scary sea creatures.

It scared the hell out of me.

Sorry about the poop-heavy theme. Will class the crap out of this tomorrow. (Oh, shit, I said crap. Oh crap, I said shit)