Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Mokiki does the Sloppy-Swish, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A bad boy in “The Bachelorette” has emerged in Chad Johnson. Not a shock. Chad is the male equivalent of the stripper name Amber.  

The hosts on “The View” mocked a nurse for wearing a stethoscope because she isn’t a doctor. That’s insensitive. The hosts of “The View” are not proctologists, but they have their heads up their butts. 

Khloe Kardashian is now dating New York Giant, Odell Beckham Jr. He’s a famous star for pulling out a one-handed catch. She’s famous for pulling out stardom from her butt. 

The matriarch of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” Mama June, is going on a tour of strip clubs. She is bringing her own supply of back-up stripper poles. 

Mama June going on a tour of strip clubs? Gosh, I hope that doesn't cheapen her image.

Justin Bieber announced he will no longer take selfies with his fans. To which the person he told that to said, “No, we were wondering if you could take our picture."

She’ll be OK,  but in Corona Del Mar, CA., a 52-year-old female triathlete was bitten by a shark. Experts are calling it an exploratory bite. Or as I would call it: getting bitten by a shark. 

In related story, none of my fellow TV-sports-watching backyard grillers were bitten by anything. 

A former Chicago cop, Drew Peterson, was found guilty of trying to kill his murdered wife’s attorney. How guilty is he? Guiltier than an iceberg with red and black paint on it after the Titanic sunk.