Saturday, May 28, 2016

In San Diego, anti-Trump protestors rioted. Well, it was San Diego, it wasn’t really a riot. But several people did report their mellow was severely harshed. 

A new marijuana-allowed gym is opening in San Francisco. Right off the bat I can think of thousands of people who will never use this. 

Frederik the Great is the handsomest horse in the world. Sorry ladies, but I heard a rumor that, well, let’s just say his favorite food is hayyyyyyyyy. 

Google won a case against Oracle that could have resulted in a $9 billion judgment. You know where they settle a $9 billion case in Silicon Valley?  Small claims court. 

It was serious. If Google lost, they would have had to pay the $9 billion dollars out of petty cash. 

A couple in their 80’s has finally gotten married after dating for over 40 years. It was the first ever Viagra-themed wedding.

How much did the networks dread a Toronto-Oklahoma City NBA Finals? Toronto’s slogan is, “Detroit’s Hat,” and Oklahoma City’s tourist slogan is, “Don’t worry, the tornadoes will blow away most of the rattlesnakes and scorpions.” 

Since you asked:

Suddenly the universe gets a jolt and is shaken to its senses and you are now the mega-watt star you always knew you should be. What is the rider you have on your contract for the stuff you want in your dressing room? 

Here is my backstage rider list:

A case of Layer Cake Malbec .

A bottle of Mount Gay Rum. Tonic and five limes.

Peet’s French Roast Coffee.

Orville Redenbacher’s buttered popcorn.

Pistachios in the shell.

Trader Joe’s Peanut Butter filled pretzels. 

M&Ms with the brown ones taken out and put back in. 

A table with a red and white checker table cloth and a bucket of tall Budweisers in a metal bucket of ice. (This one is from the Eagles)