Thursday, May 26, 2016

Frederik the Great

Let us embrace the happy accidents and get woke to the joke, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Have you seen the horse Frederik the Great? He is called the handsomest horse in the world. They’re even writing an erotic novel about Frederik: “Fifty Shades of Neigh.” 

An Oregon man is suing a hospital after his hernia operation left him with an 80-pound scrotum. He claims it is horrible to suddenly obtain a giant scrotum you can’t get rid of. To which the republican party said, “Tell us about it.” 

Google won a case against Oracle that could have resulted in a $9 billion judgment. You know where they settle a $9 billion case in Silicon Valley?  Small claims court. 

Boston man gets penis replaced
Picture shows his happy face
What we don't know from seeing the pic
The thing is as big as the horse Frederik

Since you asked:

Man, this Amber Heard is really coming off like a gold-digging scary witch. 

First, she is divorcing one of the most beloved actors ever in Johnny Depp. And she is doing so right after his beloved mother died. 

That is cold. 

Right about now Amber’s publicist is saying, “Is that Bill Cosby publicist job still open?” 

Now there are new TMZ pictures of Amber giddily shopping at Tiffany during this “heartbreaking” divorce. And stories abound of her being cruel and mean to Depp’s beloved mom and family. Depp’s kids hated her and vice versa. 

The evidence looks big on the Amber-is-a-gold-digger case. A, she refused to sign a prenup (red flag, Johnny, red flag) and now, B, she is divorcing him a few months over one year, C, just a scant few days after Johnny's beloved mother died. Oh, and don't forget, D, Johnny is worth hundreds of millions, she is not at all, and E, she is asking for spousal support.

Let's put it this way, I would not want to defend the side that Amber is not a heartless and greedy bitch. 

The true inside dirt is that Amber wants to be free to go back to dating women again (nobody is blaming her for that) which is what she really wanted in the first place. 

Only this time she will date women while rich. The marriage was just a money grab.

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are getting divorced, Khloe Kardashian is divorcing Lamar Odom for the second time and Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s “conscious uncoupling” divorce is final. And rumor has it Kanye West and Kim Kardashian as well as Beyonce and Jay-Z are getting divorced. Hollywood. Where spring is in the air, so are the subpoenas. 

Not to belabor the point, but I find this fascinating. Donald Trump faked being his own spokesperson named John Miller to brag about, what turned out to be, multiple phony sexual and business conquests. After being confronted about this, Trump denies he was John Miller.  Even though the recording of the John Miller voice has been matched to Trump.

To sum up, Donald Trump lied about who he was and what he was in order to lie about many made up conquests - that were also lies. And now he is lying about ever doing it in the first place. For those keeping score at home, that is about fourteen lies at one time. 

Success is the ability to allow failure to hurl your optimism into the realm of insanity.